Page 85 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
‘Do you think I must recover from the emotion too?’
‘I think you should be comfortable with who you are. You have great plans, and you should go ahead and fulfil them and be as idealistic as you wish, but do not do so because you feel inferior, do so because that is who you are.’
Her words struck him in the stomach, with a punch that knocked the air from his lungs. She was right, he did feel inferior, because he had spent half his life comparing himself to John and his cousins. Yet…Is that the reason I wish to make a difference, to make myself feel equal to them?The uncertainty that question ignited settled heavily on his shoulders, and the only word that came from his mouth was, ‘Sorry,’ as he released her hands. He was not sure he could let the feelings go. Pride felt a just reason for his views – inferiority did not.
He opened the door on to the second-floor landing, her words flying around his head. She thought himuncomfortable with himself.
He led the way down the next flight of wide shallow steps, saying no more. The dinner gong rang as they reached the first floor, and as they continued down the next flight Caro caught up with him.
‘Have I made you angry?’ she whispered.
‘No, only thoughtful. I should not feel as you described, I lead a privileged life.’
Kate, John, Mary, Drew, his mother and father all stood waiting for them in the hall below.
‘Save a waltz for me tonight: two if you can,’ Rob whispered as they walked down the last few steps.
Over dinner Caro participated in the conversation as much as anyone, showing she did indeed feel comfortable, and no longer inferior.
Bloody word, Rob cursed in his thoughts.
After dinner, they waited for the carriage in the hall, as the footmen brought their outdoor clothes. Rob grasped the opportunity to take Caro’s cloak from a footman and rest it on her shoulders. Caro glanced across her shoulder and they shared a smile.
Rob caught his father’s gaze, and his father’s eyebrows lifted in comment,Caroline is letting you help her.
Rob nodded, still smiling.Yes. His father’s expression had been a little bemused as he watched Caro conversing during dinner.
‘The carriages are outside, Your Grace,’ Finch said.
When Caro accepted Rob’s arm, to walk out, it caught his mother’s attention.
Rob raised a hand, telling his parents to walk ahead of them. His parents were sharing John’s carriage. He and Caro were to ride in Drew’s.
45
When the carriage reached the Forths’s house, without a Duke in their company, they had to join the queue of carriages waiting to deposit their passengers. The carriage crept along slowly, continually stopping as each carriage unloaded.
Drew discussed the cattle market he had offered to take Rob to.
Caro waited for her nerves to scream, but they did not. She felt as calm as though it were any other day.
When their carriage pulled level with the portico of the Forths’s town house, a footman opened the door, lowered the step and greeted them.
He lifted his hand for Caro to take.
Ellen and Kate were planning the picnic for tomorrow because it had been sunny today, but it was raining a light drizzle now. Rob stepped down, and immediately he reached out and lifted the hood of her cloak over her hair, to protect her from the rain.
They climbed the steps ahead of Drew and Mary, her hand holding Rob’s elbow.
‘Be brave,’ he whispered as they crossed the threshold.
She nodded. She truly felt as though she had no fear.
Inside, she released the buttons of her cloak. Rob lifted it off her shoulders and handed it to a footman. Then removed his hat and greatcoat and handed them across.
They joined those queuing to be introduced in the receiving line. ‘Lady Caroline Kilbride and Mister Robert Marlow.’ The butler introduced them as if the Forths did not know them. Caro curtsied.
‘Good evening, Caroline,’ Lady Forth said.
