Page 92 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
‘I have not seduced him, we?—’
‘Who kissed whom first? In fact, you need not even answer, because I know it would not have been him. His morals are too high. It began with a kiss and then…’
She did not know who kissed whom first in the churchyard. But later,shewent to the library, andshehad gone to his room the second time they were intimate. He would not have come to her.
He had been a kind friend until she made it more than that.
‘You are ashen; you did not know he was innocent, did you?’
She shook her head.
‘Drink some more of the brandy.’
He leaned back in his seat, watching her, and finished his drink in one swallow.
She could not finish hers, she felt sick. She put the glass down on the floor.
‘You will have to explain to him that now is not the right moment for you, that it is better to wait. He will be mortified, Caro, but you must let him get on with his life.’
She nodded, numb.
He rose, walked across the room, and put his glass on the silver tray beside the decanters. ‘I will retire. I had hoped, Caro… I had always thought… that you were not like the others in our family, and yet this… Did you learn nothing from their barbaric ways? He is Mary’s brother!’ He shook his head as he walked from the room without saying goodnight.
Caro’s heart raced – what if Drew was right and Rob’s feelings were only infatuation? If she had been his first it was likely that they were.
She stood and walked about the room, snuffing out the candles as she thought. If Rob’s love faded after they wed she would be trapped in another unhappy marriage. They would both be trapped.
A footman waited on the landing, holding a candle to light her way to bed. He followed to her room.
Her limbs felt heavy as a maid helped her undress, and Drew’s words spun about her.
Once the maid had left, Caro looked at herself in the mirror and saw the amber cross hanging at her throat. It was the first giftAlbert had given her. She promised never to remove it, and she never had, because it was a reminder of happier times.
Her shaking fingers released the clasp, removed the chain and left it and the pendant on the chest of drawers. She needed no reminder now. There was no pleasure in memories of Albert. She had no feelings left for him. The only memories she wished to cling to included Rob.
48
When Rob approached John’s town house, it was with a strong resolve. He had come to participate in the picnic, and yet his aim was to speak to Caro and agree to announce their engagement. It was the only way he could successfully defend her. They might need to be engaged for years, it might stop them spending time alone, and yet he could not stand to be in the position he had been in last night. He could not watch her with Kilbride and do nothing. He had spent the night awake, itching to see her, and to hold her, to know she was safe.
He parked his curricle at the end of the long line of carriages waiting before the house, let a groom take the ribbons, and jumped down.
Inside the house, numerous members of his extended family mingled together, ready to depart, clothed for an autumn picnic. The rain that had fallen last night had left the ground damp, but the sun had come out, and in the sunshine the day was warm.
He spotted Caro in the far corner. She stood alone, looking through a window.
She was dressed in lemon yellow. The colour was bright, yet her expression was not. Her skin was pallid, and dark patches shadowed her eyes. She looked like the phantom he had not seen for a long time.
He made his way across the room, nodding his head and smiling at those he passed.
‘Robbie.’ His mother stopped him. ‘Good morning, I?—’
‘Forgive me, Mama, but I wish to speak to Caro for a moment before we leave.’ He walked on.
Caro seemed to be miles away in her thoughts. She had not turned from the window.
‘Caro.’
She turned.
