Page 97 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
Rob stood too, hoping for a chance to speak to Caro, and hoping, therefore, his father and mother would not come.
Caro passed Iris to Mary and rose.
‘I will walk with you.’ Phillip got up.
Rob felt like punching him firmly on the jaw.
Caro smiled, but it expressed no particular pleasure as she lay her hand on his arm.
‘Let me take Iris. She will probably sleep if I take her for a walk.’ Drew rose and took her from Mary, his eyes glowing with pride as he looked at their daughter.
The expression showed how different the emotions associated with pride were, compared to feelings of inferiority. Rob had been mistaken about himself for years.
Rob got up. He could hardly bow out now without people guessing something was wrong, and Caro would think he was sulking again. Paul caught hold of Rob’s hand. ‘May I walk with you, Uncle Robbie?’
Rob smiled, understanding that Paul was capable of jealousy too. He wanted Rob’s attention because George would want it. ‘George.’ Rob offered his other nephew his other hand.
A footman followed them, with a loaf of bread that thechildren were offered chunks from to tear up and feed to the ducks. Caro walked on with Phillip, without children to slow them down, appearing to be contentedly conversing.
‘George!’ Paul called. ‘I have some!’
George had used all his bread, so Paul gave him half of what he had left.
Grinning gratefully at his cousin, George took it. ‘Thank you.’
Hell, Rob cursed himself.That is all John is doing – sharing with me – and John’s inferior little brother was throwing his kindness back in his face.
Rob looked towards Caro. She was looking at him. There was no smile for him today, she still looked sad.
‘Uncle Bobbie.’ George had doubled over and reached his hands through his legs to be somersaulted. When Rob had fulfilled the task, he caught Drew watching with a gaze that appeared sad too, though it was more complex, there was sympathy within it.
Why?
When the carriages were loaded for the journey home, Rob hoped to offer to take Caro, but she remained too far away from him to give him any opportunity to speak. Again, he was forced to watch her accept Phillip’s hand.
At John’s house, Rob helped Jenny and Helen down from the carriage, and entered the hall with everyone, but without any intent to stay. The house was too full for him to be able to speak to Caro. He slipped into John’s library, found a sheet of writing paper, and used John’s quill and ink.
Dearest Caro,
I wish I could have prevented you enduring that dance with Kilbride last night. I am sorry I did not. Yet that dance has made me come to a decision. I can protect you withoutcausing gossip if we are engaged. I want to announce our engagement immediately, if you are in agreement? I am sorry, it may be a long engagement, yet at least we would no longer need to hide what we feel.
He thought of Caro walking with Phillip, of her hand on Phillip’s arm, their heads close as they talked. The quill hovered over the page. He was tempted to say something that would admit his jealousy, but this was not about Phillip. This was about defending her.
Yours sincerely and devotedly,
I love you
Rob
He folded the letter, picked up the scarlet piece of wax, the candle and flint to light it, then melted the wax until a few drops had sealed the letter.
He would have to take a risk and give the letter to one of John’s servants to pass on.
He slipped the letter into the inside pocket of his coat and went into the hall to say his goodbyes. The commotion was over, the family had gone up to the informal drawing room, and Finch with them. There was one footman left in the hall, perhaps because Finch knew Rob was in the library; Finch rarely missed such things because it was his job to know where the family were.
Rob walked across. ‘I have a letter to be delivered to someone’s room,’ he said quietly, nervous of his voice carrying in the vast marble hall. ‘Do not let anyone see you take it there.’
The footman nodded, his eyes intrigued.
