Page 120 of The Reckless Love of an Heir
‘Good day.’
‘Good day.’
They all spoke at once as they left the room.
He looked at his mother when Susan’s hand slipped away, but waited until she had left the room with the others before he spoke. His heart thumped as hard as it had when he had sat beside William’s still body. He breathed in. These words had to be said for the benefit of them all. ‘Has Papa spoken with you about how he feels?’
She looked at Davis. ‘Please leave us alone, thank you.’
Henry waited until Davis had herded the footmen out of the room, then said again, ‘What has he said?’
Her elbows rested on the table and her hands clasped as she shook her head.
‘What does a shake of the head mean, Mama? Are you telling me not to ask? I cannot believe he has said nothing to you. You must see he is destroying things. He is shutting us out.’
‘Henry.’
‘It is the truth. I have no idea how to speak to him.’
‘Heis your father.’
‘It has not felt so for days. It has not felt so to any of us. He has not cared about any of us since William died.’
‘He is suffering because he was not there when William passed.’
‘But you were. And I was.’And I need him!It was the first time he had admitted that to himself. Susan had been wrong last night. She had been right in the beginning – hewasselfish. ‘AndStephen and Gerard are alive and they need their father. They want to return to school. It should be Papa who accompanies them. They need him. We all do.’
‘Ever since I have known your father, he has turned away from emotional pain. He cannot cope with such feelings, he would rather fight and burn his emotions off with activity.’
Just as the boys were trying to do. ‘But William cannot be swept away by riding or walking, Mama.’
‘Henry, do you not think I know?’ Tears glittered in her eyes.
He stood and walked about the table. She turned so she sat sideways in her chair as he occupied the seat beside her.
‘Your father is a complex man. I remember one day, before you were born, when he was upset he walked out into a rainstorm and was gone for hours. He returned. He will return to us, when he has come to terms with this.’
‘When will that be, though? Stephen and Gerard are young. They are in the years that impact on the rest of their lives. They need Papa.’
‘Give him time, Henry.’
‘There is no time. They want to return to school. Where is he?’
Her eyes looked above his head as she sighed. She was suffering too much to argue with him. ‘Your father went out riding.’
He rode out every day. ‘I know but to where?’
She sighed again and looked back at him. ‘I do not know, but a guess would be the abbey ruins.’
‘Then I will look for him there.’ Henry stood up.
She caught hold of his hand. ‘Robert will not welcome your intrusion. He would rather deal with his feelings alone.’
‘So would I, but he has not given me the chance.’ He pulledhis hand away and turned to leave. He would damned well make his father see sense.
Henry rode the stallion hard. Its muscles were still warm from his morning ride and so he was not afraid to encourage the animal to stretch out immediately; the ruins were a long ride from the house.
He raced along the road and jumped a wall. Then galloped across a field and jumped a stream. Finally, as he rode out through the far side of an opening in the hedgerow he saw the ruins, stretching up to the sky. An ancient place of worship and life. A spiritual place. He could understand why his father would choose to come here to think of William.
