Page 50 of The Reckless Love of an Heir
He was not ready to settle.
‘More flowers from Henry,’ Susan’s mother said when Alethea walked into the room, bearing another vase to fill up the occasional table near the window in the drawing room.
‘Yes, but his notes are just rhymes,’ Alethea said. ‘There is nothing personal in them, he does not even sign them. I think he set up an agreement with a florist to send them daily on his behalf. I do not take them at all seriously any more. They have been arriving from the day we arrived, and they are still arriving even though he has left London without a word.’
Heat rose in Susan’s skin. He had embarrassed Alethea.
He left London the day after Sarah’s debut ball. The day he asked to meet Susan in Bond Street and she had not gone. Nobody had heard from him since. She was the only one who knew why he had gone away, even Uncle Robert did not know why, and no one knew where Henry had gone. He had been missing for a week. Yet still the flowers came.
Alethea was probably right, they had been ordered prior to Sarah’s ball. It hurt less to think that at least.
Susan’s gaze turned to the window and she disappeared into daydreams, imagining what might have been said if she had gone to Bond Street.
But what could have been said? Nothing! She would not hurt her sister.
Yet I kissed Henry!She had already hurt Alethea.
That thought had twisted around in her head for days and it had sharp, vicious edges. It was more like a dream now than truth. A dream? No. A nightmare. She could not believe it happened – that she let it happen.
But it had, and now Henry had disappeared and there was a ball this evening, and Henry had promised to escort Alethea.
A part of Susan was glad. Which was a cruel thought, and made guilt flick its whip at her even harder. She bled with the constant pain of having betrayed her sister.
Had he gone because he did not want to face Alethea? Had he run away from the guilt? Surely – if he was capable of any emotion beyond recklessness and selfishness – he must feel guilty?
She would know if she had gone to Bond Street.
There had been emotions in his eyes beyond recklessness when they kissed – she would swear it. But even if he declared love for her, it could change nothing, he was Alethea’s.
Echoes of the sensations generated by his lips, and his hand at her nape, danced through her body.
He had deserted Alethea.
He had been reckless and now self-centred… and…
Where was he?
When Susan faced the receiving line at the Brookes’ ball, her heart pulsed with the quick beat of fear. It would be extremely unlikely for Henry’s first reappearance to be here and yet she hoped, and yet she should not hope, and yet she feared. Her heart skimmed skipping stones, dotting ripples of excitement into a lake of anxiety. Those sharp sudden moments of longing wished to know what would happen next time she met Henry – because of course she would meet him again. His parents lived beside hers, and were close friends. They could not avoid each other for ever.
The part of her that was terrified – feared what would happen next.
The butler introduced her. She accepted Lord Brooke’soffered hand and curtsied. When he let her hand go Susan turned to his wife. The couple were still quite young and it was only the two of them welcoming their guests.
When the cordialities were done Alethea slipped her arm through Susan’s, and drew Susan on into the ballroom as their parents’ followed. It was such a crush it was hard to see from one side of the room to the other, she could not see whether Henry was there or not.
‘Robert and Jane are over there.’ Her father lifted a hand and pointed. ‘Shall we join them? Perhaps Robert has discovered the cause for Henry’s silence, although he had heard nothing yesterday.’
Susan’s heartbeat slowed, as the fear of seeing him cleared. If he had come tonight, no matter her feelings of guilt, if he asked her to talk privately again, she would go. She would betray her sister again.
When they neared Uncle Robert he lifted a hand, acknowledging them. The group he stood among contained Uncle Edward, Aunt Ellen, John and Katherine, Mary and Drew, and others in Aunt Ellen’s family.
Uncle Robert took Alethea’s hand and kissed her cheek. ‘I am sorry on behalf of my vagabond of a son,’ he said as he released her. ‘I am ashamed and I have no idea why he left. But it is par for the course with Henry.’
Alethea smiled, but when she turned, Susan saw the look of distress that crossed her sister’s face. It was callous of Henry to leave.
To leave us both!
Yet she left him waiting for her in Bond Street. This was all her fault. Perhaps if they met, they could have agreed that it would not progress, and he would have committed to Alethea.
