Page 55 of The Reckless Love of an Heir
Because I needed to escape. ‘Because I felt like it.’ He had never cared to hear his father’s opinion when he was in an melancholy mood.
‘Reckless; as I said. Uncaring; as I said.’ His father walked closer, with quick strides.
Henry stood, so his father could not lean over him and wave a damning finger as he did when Henry was a boy.
‘I am tired of this, Henry! Grow up, boy!’
‘I am grown. It is just you do not see it, and travel miles to drag me out of a brothel, as though I am a youth still.’
‘Because you cannot behave like a grown man,’ his father growled in Henry’s face.
Yes, he could. He could behave too much like a grown man; that was his issue. But the charge of recklessness was true.
Why the hell did I kiss Susan?He might have stayed in town and pretended all was right if he had not.
‘Alethea will not wait forever. I was at a ball which she attended last evening. Do you think she sat out all the dances, awaiting your return? No. Of course she did not. She danced every one of them.’
There was a pause as though his father assumed Henry might be horrified by the news. He wasn’t. He knew very well that Alethea would meet other men and he did not care if Alethea found another man to propose to her, it would be simpler if she did. It meant his guilt would at some point subside.
But whether Susan might ever be persuaded to relinquish her sense of loyalty…
‘The Earl of Stourton sends her flowers, did you know? Casper told me very proudly last evening.’
Henry sighed. He had not known about the flowers. He did now. As Uncle Casper had intended.
‘Alethea and Susan are making a grand impression in town, and you… You will lose her.’
Susan was making an impression… What impression had she made? ‘Did Susan dance every dance too?’
‘Yes. But do not think it means that Alethea was not particularly popular, only that Susan is also popular.’
Henry shut his eyes as the words jabbed at his ribs.Damn!
He sipped the water to give him time to compose himself.
His father turned away and paced across the room, then turned back and stood still, his hands clasping behind his back, as he stared at Henry. ‘Do you care?’
Henry said nothing.
‘I mean, do you care for her?’
He knew what his father had been asking. ‘I like her… and you know I asked her to come to London to see if it might become more than like,’and I have discovered a burning hunger for her sister – a thirst so fierce I cannot imagine it will ever be quenched.But he still liked Alethea, only now he knew it would never be more than that.
‘Casper and I have hoped for a union between you since the moment she was born.’
‘I know, Papa. It has been forced down my throat since the moment she was born.’ Henry had no patience for this talk; or his father’s cursed dreams for them.
‘Are you no longer willing?’ His father’s pitch was deep and serious.
‘I have not said that.’ He had not said anything, he could notform the words that would tear the two families apart. He was not as reckless nor as selfish as they thought.
What might he be saying now, though, if Susan had come to the bookstore? What might have happened next?
The words inside him were a constant waterfall of desire, guilt – fear and hope. That was why he left London. Not to run, but to deal with this riot of emotion. It was a melee of feelings storming at each other. He had been managing it with a daily substantial dose of liquor since he’d arrived here.
‘You have embarrassed me,’ his father said. ‘The whole of London will learn you are here, when Alethea is there.’ He paused for an instant and swallowed. ‘And damn, I sound far too much like your grandfather.’ He looked up at the ceiling, then back at Henry.
‘I have been you. I have drunk myself stupid, gambled and acted irresponsibly. My father sent me abroad so I would not be an embarrassment to him. I have always regretted that I cut myself off. He died before I returned.’ He sighed, then in a lower softer voice, said, ‘Perhaps this is justice, that I have such a son in return. But I will not cut you off.’
