Page 71 of The Reckless Love of an Heir
‘Yes!’ Aunt Julie called.
Dodds stepped in. ‘Lord Henry, my lady.’
‘Come in, Henry. You have no need to hover outside the door!’ Aunt Julie said.
Alethea turned to face him. She was sitting on a sofa with her mother, and from the movement it looked as though they had been holding hands. Something was wrong. Their eyes were red-rimmed and watery. They had been crying.
Heat flushed his cheeks, as he walked across the room. ‘Aunt, what is wrong?’
Aunt Julie stood. ‘Do not mind me, I am being foolish.’ She gave him a brief embrace and kissed his cheek. ‘Dodds, have a maid bring some tea.’ She looked back at Henry. ‘Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Alethea will appreciate your company.’
He did sit, only because he did not know what else to do.
Henry leaned towards Alethea. ‘What has upset you?’
‘Susan has gone.’
‘What? Where?’
‘Home. She insisted on going today but she would not say why.’
She had run.‘Was she upset?’
‘Yes, but she would not even tell Mama why.’
He breathed deeply. She had been upset because of him.
‘You were the last person to speak with her at the ball, was she distressed then? Mama thinks something must have happened there.’
The air caught in his lungs. Yes. She had run from him and kept running. ‘No, she was happy…’ The lie left his throat effortlessly. ‘You said she left the ball with a headache…’
‘That is what she said. But this morning she said London has made her unwell.’
‘And she gave no other reason?’
‘None.’ Aunt Julie sat in a chair near them.
The words Susan said to him played in his mind.‘If I was in Alethea’s shoes I would not be able to bear it. To watch us together. To know my sister cared so little for me she would do such a disloyal thing. It will hurt her, Henry. I cannot hurt her like that.’So, she had run. He had chased Susan away from her home, and her family.
If she was more like him, moreself-centred– the word mocked him – they would be sitting here telling her sister together. But then Susan would not be Susan. She was full of care, mindful of others – as she now cared for him. And he cared for her… The thought of her in tears… Leaving in distress… Leaving the sister she loved… Last night she had talked of standing in her sister’s shoes, now he imagined standing in hers. The pain, guilt and regret cut deep inside him. He was no longer a careless man, he could not hurt her any more than she would hurt Alethea. She was the first to accuse him of self-absorption, it had been true, but she was also the one to break him free of it.
And last night… Last night was going to be all he had then. Hewould remember it, rejoice in it and regret forever that memories were all he had of Susan… His heart broke, cracking as though it were porcelain pressed under the heel of her shoe. The cracks in his heart ran into his veins, reaching deeper. He now knew this was love, this pain was what his father had spoken of when he talked of losing his mother.
‘Henry.’ Alethea held his hand. ‘Did you see last night…’ Her conversation swept Susan aside and became focused on the ball itself, and the balls that were still to come this season and how they would be spoiled from Alethea’s perspective because Susan was not here. Susan may not be selfish, but Alethea was. Perhaps that was the only thing he had ever had in common with her.
After the tea had been served and drunk, Aunt Julie looked at him. ‘Why do you not take Alethea out in your carriage? That will brighten her mood.’
‘I cannot. I am sorry, Alethea. I did not bring my curricle, I walked.’ He was no longer in the mood to speak; nothing he said to Alethea would convince Susan to have him.
His shattered heart embraced the truth – if he loved her as much as he claimed, he should leave Susan alone. She had chosen to run away from him.
He stood up, half in a dream. ‘I ought to leave anyway. I agreed to meet someone at my club.’
Aunt Julie and Alethea looked at him in surprise.
‘Are you going to the Tomlinsons’ musical evening?’ Alethea asked.
‘I am not sure. Perhaps.’ He bowed towards his aunt.
