Page 5 of The Forbidden Love of an Officer
Ellen took a breath, longing for courage. She did not feel able to lie to that extent.
‘Eleanor?’
Looking up, she faced his stern condemning glare. His expression was as unreadable as marble. ‘I cannot, Papa. I do not wish to marry His Grace.’ Her father had a way of making other people seem small and insignificant – incapable. ‘Papa?’Do you love me? Will you miss me?
‘You do not have a choice, Eleanor. You will do your duty.’
His gaze held her at a distance, blunt and cold.
Hers reached out, begging for a sign of his affection. ‘I cannot, Papa. He is so old, and?—’
‘You are being wilful and defiant, Eleanor. You will do as I say and that is an end to it.’
Repudiating words pressed to escape, catching up in a ball in her throat as she longed to argue and plead, to make him accept Paul, but her father did not like emotion. As children they had been taken away from his presence whenever they cried, or shouted, or laughed. But today, today she could not quite hold herself back. ‘Papa, please… What would be so wrong with Paul? I love him and he loves me…’
He gave no obvious sign his anger had escalated, yet she knew. It was in the stiffness of his body, in the cut of his silver eyes as they glared at her. He was like her in appearance – or rather she was like him. She had his eyes and his jet-black hair and pale skin. But she was nothing like him in nature, and she did not wish to be. What possessed a man to be so cold? He would be handsome if he smiled but he never smiled.
‘Do not be ridiculous, Eleanor. Love… What is it?’Something you do not feel, Papa.‘You are talking nonsense. There is nothing in it. You are the daughter of a duke. You have a duty and responsibility, and that is what you must think of in a marriage. It seems you are unrepentant then, and you’ve learned no lesson at all. You will spend the next full day on your knees. Study the Bible, ask for forgiveness and pray for guidance. You will learn, Eleanor. Your mother has been too lenient, letting you dream of such fanciful things. I will return to speak to you tomorrow, until then you will stay in your room.’
I will be gone tomorrow. She could continue to argue, she could beg and try to cajole, but her father would never change his mind. He had never done a single thing out of kindness.
Eleanor lowered in another curtsy. ‘As you say, Papa.’
‘As I say indeed, Eleanor. It will be so. You will marry Argyle. I shall write to him today.’You may write, Papa, but I shall never marry him.
‘Kneel at your bed, child.’ She turned and did so, she had never disobeyed him and even now her heartbeat thundered at the thought of doing so in a few hours. Where would she find the courage? From Paul. Her father would be so angry.
As Ellen lifted her skirt and knelt, her father turned to the door and called to a footman. ‘Fetch the Bible from the chapel, my daughter needs time to search her soul.’
No, she did not. She had found what her soul needed. She had found Paul.
* * *
A quiet knock struck her bedchamber door. ‘Ellen?’
‘Penny?’ Ellen stood. It was dusk, her family had probably just eaten dinner, and their father would be sitting alone at the table drinking his port.
The handle of her door turned but it would not open. Papa had the key.
‘Mama said I must not speak to you, Papa has forbidden it, so of courseshewill not come, yet I had to know you are well. Are you hungry? Do you wish me to send you something to eat? Has he beaten you?’
Ellen rose from her kneeling position, even though she had been told not to move yet, she could not shout across the room in case someone heard and told tales on them. Then Penny would be in trouble too.
Ellen pressed her fingers against the door, leaning to whisper through it. ‘I know, and I know Mama cannot defend me, she must obey Papa. I do not want him to be angry with her or you. You should go, Penny.’
‘Why is he angry?’
‘Paul made a marriage offer. Papa refused it. He is angry because I encouraged Paul. Do not become caught up in this or Papa will confine you to your room too.’
‘Captain Harding? Oh, Ellen. I like him.’
Resting her forehead against the wood, Ellen smiled. ‘As do I, but Papa does not. He wishes me to accept the Duke of Argyle.’
‘You cannot marry that old man. He is awful, Ellen… I shall come through the servants’ way and speak with you.’
‘No. Papa would be furious. Do not take the risk. I can manage, I am merely a little cold and hungry,’and I will be gone soon.
‘But you will not agree to marry that old man. I saw him in the summer and?—’
