Page 6 of The Forbidden Love of an Officer
‘Of course not.’ An urge to share the truth and speak of her elopement shot through Ellen’s heart, another arrow of love passing through it, but it would be wrong to involve Penny. Penny was fifteen, she would not be able to hide her knowledge if their father questioned her, and Ellen would not have Penny hurt.
‘I miss you. Rebecca and Sylvia do nothing but play silly games. Life is so dull without you.’
Penny’s words tugged as if a cord were tethered to the arrow through Ellen’s heart, and Penny pulled it.
But Ellen could not stay. She wanted to be with Paul.
Her hands trembled as her palms pressed against the wood and she leaned closer, feeling the presence of her sister on the other side in every fibre of her body…
This life, this house, was all Ellen had known. She had never travelled beyond the local towns.
Paul had travelled the world. He had told her what life as an army officer’s wife would be. Hard. She was not to expect luxury. But she would be loved and cared for and adored by him. She longed for it. Her heart ached for it. But voices in her head whispered,be afraid…
‘You will manage without me, Penny.’
‘I know I shall. It will only be for a few days. Papa cannot keep you locked away forever.’
‘Yes, only for a few days.’Years. A desire to tell Penny the truth fought to break the words from Ellen’s lips. But if her father discovered Penny had been told he’d hurt her. ‘You’d better go. I’d never forgive myself if you were caught.’
‘As soon as Papa allows you to come out, find me and tell me everything. Promise?’
‘Promise.’
‘Goodbye.’
‘Goodbye.’ Tears flooded Ellen’s eyes as she heard her sister go.
Leaving Penny behind without explanation would cause Penny pain, but it tore at Ellen’s heart too.
* * *
The room had become bitterly cold. Her father had forbidden anyone to tend the fire. It had burned out hours ago. Ellen’s knees ached from kneeling, yet still she had not risen, even though no one watched her. Her father’s will had been forced upon her for so many years it was her instinct to obey. She would break that tether at midnight.
She read through the Ten Commandments for the thousandth time. ‘Thou shalt honour thy father and mother.’
Was she about to sin, then, because she was going to run away and betray them? Her mother would be heartbroken –sheknew how to love. She was even loyal to Ellen’s father, respecting their marriage vows despite his coldness towards them all.
Ellen could not do the same. She could not stay here. She wanted a life with Paul – even if it was sinful and selfish.
It had been dark for hours, and every time the clock in the hall struck, she had counted the chimes. It was past ten.
Pippa had brought her some bread and cheese at eight, wrapped in a cloth, but Ellen had sent her away with a need to obey her father, at least in that. It was a penance for the moment she would break free and shatter any feelings he had.
Excitement and anxiety warred with guilt and sorrow; sadness weighing down her soul. She did not want to leave her sisters and her mother.
But the sadness was outbalanced by the happiness and expectation that she felt. She was going to Paul. Running towards love. Yet what else would she run to? All she knew was his love bore more weight than her mother’s or her sisters’. It owned her heart and made it pulse – not simply made it feel tender.
The clock began to strike again, the sound echoing. One, two…
Ellen knew how many times it would chime.
Leaving the Bible open, she rose, even now unable to fully disobey and close it.
Her feet were numb and her knees stiff, the price she had to pay for what she was about to do.
Everyone in the house retired early to avoid wasting candles. They rose with the sun and retired with it. They would all be in bed.
The chilly air made her shiver, or perhaps it was the overwhelming blend of excitement and fear. She still could not believe she was doing this. She took a leather sewing bag from a cupboard and began emptying it of embroidery threads and ribbons. The clock outside chimed nine… ten… eleven…
