Page 70 of The Forbidden Love of an Officer
They looked away and walked on, their backs to her.
Ellen broke into a slight run, one hand clasping beneath the bulge of the child in her stomach, the other lifting the skirt of her dress a little. ‘Wait!’ She had no idea what she wished to say to them, but it suddenly seemed so important. They were a link to Paul when she had no other.
‘Wait!’ Ellen cried again, hurrying after them, leaving Megan behind her.
They did not stop, ignoring her cries and her presence.
When she caught them up, her fingers gripped the sleeve of Captain Smith’s scarlet coat at his elbow. ‘Will you not stop and speak with me? Please?—’
He stopped walking and faced her, revulsion in his eyes. ‘Madam, I have nothing to say to a woman such as you. I admit I was surprised by the news, as I am sure Captain Harding would have been. He would be disgusted. But there is no going back. Good day.’ He turned away. As did Captain Vickers.
Ellen did not understand. She stood in the street, lost, as they walked on and then turned the corner.Surprised by what news… Why would Paul be disgusted… What did he mean? ‘A woman such as you.’ A widow?
When she walked into the hall of Lieutenant Colonel Hillier’s house she took off her bonnet and cloak, then her gloves, and passed them all to a footman, as Megan left the hall via the servants’ door.
‘Is Lieutenant Colonel Hillier home?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘Where?’
‘The lieutenant colonel is in the drawing room, ma’am.’
As she walked towards the door of the drawing room, the servant rushed past her to open it. ‘Lieutenant Colonel, Mrs Harding.’
There were empty glasses by the decanters where the men had shared a drink, and a quill, ink and paper stood on a desk across the room, where the lieutenant colonel stood.
He came towards her, his hands out as if to take hers. ‘Ellen, this is a charming surprise.’
‘I have just seen Captain Smith, and Captain Vickers leave.’
The tone of her voice stopped him a few feet away from her. ‘Yes, they were reporting to me about?—’
‘I do not care why they were here, what I am concerned about it is that they would not speak with me. Why would they not speak with me? They implied I have done something wrong…’ Creases of confusion caught in Ellen’s brow.
‘Ellen…’ His pitch became placating as if he talked to a child, and he stepped forward and clasped her hands.
She pulled them free.
‘Why would they not speak? What have I done wrong? They said Paul would have been disgusted. Why?’ Her last words erupted on a bitter whisper.
‘There is no need for such distress, Ellen. I have said I shall take care of you and I shall. You must not worry about what others think…’
‘Why would I need to worry about what others think? What do they think?’
‘Ellen.’ His hands lifted to hold her.
She stepped away; the expression in his eyes was similar to the one she used to see in Paul’s eyes when he wanted to go to bed.
She could not stay in this room. ‘I shall go upstairs.’ She should not stay in this house.
‘You do not want to join me for tea?’ There was a cajoling, pacifying edge to his words; she did not like the tone.
‘No. I am tired. It is the pregnancy. I shall rest.’ With that, she left him, still not understanding why Captain Smith and Captain Vickers had refused to speak to her.
‘I shall go out then,’ he called after her. ‘But remember, you are under my roof and you eat my food. You should respect that and respect me!’
She looked back, not knowing how to answer.
