Page 46 of The General's Captive
“Not many to start, so you can’t afford to lose more.”
“Ha, ha funny girl. You wanna keep being cute with me or talk?” I released a sigh and came right out and said it,
“You kissed me.” His eyes widened before they grew playful,
“Yeah babe, I was there, not gonna forget the day I finally got my head outta my ass.” Well, that was nice…okay so more than nice it felt great. But I pressed on regardless.
“About that…” I said which was when the penny dropped for him.
“Ah so that’s what this is about.” He said making me frown.
“You wanna know why now and knowing you you’re over analysing the shit out of this.”
“I do not…” I stopped when he gave me a pointed look and admitted,
“Okay fine, but I still need to know as I don’t think I have exactly made it a well-kept secret how I feel about you.” At this his expression softened, no doubt at the sight of my blush as it wasn’t something I had ever verbalised before. No doubt why he reached out and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear in a tender way, hair that had grown a lot in the last three years with the long lengths I usually kept up in a ponytail and back from my face. The shorter lengths and bangs that had long ago grown out now framed my face thanks to all the fighting.
“You never told me how you felt.” He said making me swallow hard before reminding him,
“Yeah, and we both know what would have happened if I had.” He raised his brows at that prompting me to say more.
“I had been at the base for what…Two weeks before you were making a point.”
“Yeah, and what point was that?” I resisted my usual urge to roll my eyes at this and repeated,
“How fucking stupid it was for people to start a relationship during an apocalypse. Your words remember.” I said making him wince.
“I can see that those words stuck with you.” He commented dryly and I shrugged my shoulders at this.
“I took it for what it was, Riley.”
“Yeah, and what was that?” Was he seriously asking me that question?
“A warning never to take it beyond what we had…a friendship, the boundariesyou set.”He tensed at that before releasing a frustrated sigh now rubbing a hand through his floppy blonde hair that seemed to fall in a natural place of sexiness.
“Yeah, I did and now you want to know why, right.” At this I shook my head.
“No, I know why, I have always known why, because you didn’t want to get hurt again and to let someone in during a time like this that you thought was nothing short of foolish.” He let his big shoulders drop before telling me,
“Your right but your also wrong.”
“In what way?” I asked.
“I had blurred the lines of our friendship a long time ago Alex and you’re a fool if you didn’t see it. I have cared for you so much more than just as a friend and you know it, I think you have always known it.” he said making me shake my head but he turned to face me, bending a knee to rest on the bed so as he could take hold of my shoulders and turn me to do the same.
“Yes Alex you have. You were just too afraid of being wrong and ruining what we had. I was a fucking coward to ask andthinking I had missed my shot, that we would forever be stuck in this fucking friend’s zone. I was so scared of losing that piece of you, any piece I could get, that I didn’t want to fuck it all up.” I swallowed hard at his confession, my heart in my throat as he expressed every mirrored emotion I too had felt.
“So, you pretended?” I asked reminding him of his own words said to me back in my room at the base.
“Pretended to be your friend? No, never… but did I pretend that I didn’t crave more, yes…every damn day.”At this I couldn’t stop my reaction as I threw my arms around him, pulling him close as I whispered,
“Oh Riley.”And he held me back dipping his head to my shoulder as he breathed me in.
“I was an idiot.” He said after pulling back, his eyes tender as he took in my tears, the emotions tripping over as it felt like a dream. I chuckled at that, admitting,
“Yeah, not going to disagree with you there and don’t forget the terrible timing, which I have to ask…”
“You want to know what happened, what made me tell you finally.” I nodded now stroking along his fingers and the back of his scared wrist as it rested on his knee.
