Page 16 of Sexting the Tattooed Outlaw
“Too late,” she says cheerfully. “It’s only two ninety-nine per month, but don’t worry – I’ll cover the cost.”
“Peoplepayfor this?” I ask incredulously.
“You won’t think it’s so stupid when you see the text messages.”
My phone dings and her eyes light up.
“Oh! I bet that’s him!”
“There is no ‘him’, Nadia,” I say, pulling my phone from my apron. “He’s not a real person, he’s a bunch of ones and zeroes that are arranged in the precisely correct order to tell a woman whatever she wants to hear.”
“I know,” she says happily, a dreamy expression in her eyes. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
I sigh, opening the text message on my phone. It’s from an unknown number, of course, and looks like it’s just another text message sent by a human being.
Boyfriend Bot: Have a lovely day at work, my darling! Your beauty is beyond measure! I would climb the highest mountains just to catch a glimpse of your smile!
“Ew,” I say automatically.
“What did it say?” Nadia takes my phone and reads it. “Okay…so it’s a little flowery. The great thing is, you can tell himexactly what you like and don’t like. He’s better than a real man, he listens!”
She giggles, typing a reply to the Boyfriend Bot.
“What did you say?”
I read the text she sent on my behalf.
Me: Too saccharine. Don’t ever call me darling again. And knock it off with the Shakespearean shit!
“Wow, that’s pretty rude,” I comment.
“You’re worried about hurting a robot’s feelings?” Nadia raises a brow.
“Of course not,” I shake my head. “Like you said, it’s just ones and zeroes.”
“Exactly. So train him to know what you like!”
“What’s the purpose in doing this, exactly?” I ask her.
“Practice,” she explains. “You need practice asserting yourself with men, Kay! What better way to do it than this? You can learn how to set boundaries and voice your needs in a safe environment. It’s perfect.”
“Hmmm.”
My friend is actually making a good point. Maybe this would be good for me.
My phone chimes again.
Boyfriend Bot: Sorry about that. What nickname do you prefer?
I hesitate for a moment. Sam is the only guy I’ve ever let call me Kay. Even Douglas only called me Kayla, never anything else.
Me: You can call me Kay.
Boyfriend Bot: You got it, Kay. Have a great day at work. I’ll talk to you tonight.
“Boom,” Nadia says, reading over my shoulder. “It’s that easy. Oh — and don’t be afraid to get dirty with him, too. Boyfriend Bot can sext!”
I groan.
