Page 47 of Ghetto Heartstrings
“It is what it is Book’Lynn.”
“That nigga still love you though.”
“Whatever, Kema told me she had to beat a bitch down, C2 came at her with some foolishness.”
Brook’Lynn laughed, “Yeah, but you know how it is, never a dull moment in our life.”
Yaya turned into the parking lot of her hotel and parked before getting out, “Look, I love you Brook, take care of that baby man, take it easy and I’ll call you in a few days.”
With that she hung up and walked inside using her card to give her access. She immediately kicked her shoes off and took a shower before throwing her body across the bed to finally relax. She planned on staying in her room for another week or so until she actually found the strength to find her a place, maybe a little apartment or something. She popped two Tylenol P.M.’s anticipating sleep because she hated being up in a position where all she had time to do was think, when those walls started closing in on her it wasn’t fun, it made her realize just how lonely she really was and how much she really missed Boom. It only took a matter of minutes before she was snoring and ready to wake up and get her day started.
“Something is wrong!”Brook’Lynn yelled in exasperation. “Please don’t let me lose my baby!” Sshe cried feeling the pressure down below. She tried to keep her breathing steady and calm down but the thought of losing her little mama was too much for her, she couldn’t bear the pain.
Perfect stood to the side of her with a broken heart, in his heart, he knew that if she delivered the baby too soon, his daughter might not make it. One minute everything was fine, next thing he knew, Brook’Lynn was bleeding real bad and complaining of contractions, it went from that to the pressure.
“Ouchhhh!” She yelled again as the beads of sweat trickled down the sides of her face. She was patiently waiting for the doctor to arrive as the nurses went into action, they were all prepared to take the baby. The little heart was in distress and being in her wound any longer was too dangerous.
“Try to calm down baby, they about to handle it okay.” Perfect tried to remain calm for her, he always tried to have faith, but he knew this shit here wasn’t looking good.
Brook’Lynn tried her best to calm down as the pain subsided leaving only the pressure, she took a deep breath and sat up as one of the nurses tried to get her to lay back down. She ignored her and focused on the pressure she felt, in a sense, it felt like she had to take a shit, like she was constipated and a huge log of shit needed to be released. Without even trying, her body did its own thing and when she felt the release load of the pressure make its way out, not only was she embarrassed, she was relieved.
“Lift the sheet Perfect.” She told him exhausted, “Have them to clean me up.”
She scanned the room looking at everyone looking at her, the nurse beat Perfect to the punch but when she lifted the sheet, she was horrified and had a hint of sympathy in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Brook’Lynn asked her. “Tell me!” She snatched the sheet back. The view in front of her was beyond anything she’d ever seen staring at her lifeless underdeveloped baby no bigger than the size of the palm of her hand laying there lifeless. Never in a million years would she have imagined her child to look that way, she was so tiny. It was a mother’s natural reaction to grab the baby, but before she could, the stunned nurse was cutting the cord and was already grabbing her and working to try to revive the little one even with it being very little hope.
“My babyyyy!” She cried watching the nurse cut the cord.
“Brook’Lynn,” another nurse tried to calm her down to get her to give a slight push and get the after birth out of her. “I need you to let them do their jobs, hun. Please…one or two pushes we have to get the afterbirth out of there.”
“Come on baby.” A shaken up Perfect stayed by her side but his eyes were glued on his daughter. He knew she didn’t make it; he felt it, she was just too young and fragile.
Brook’Lynn gave a push and delivered the after birth as they cleaned her up and threw a warm blanket over her. “Please just save my baby.” She tried to use one hand and nudge Perfect. “Go over there Perfect! Don’t let her die…don’t let my baby die.”
Perfect had never felt so fucked up in his life, he could fix a lot of shit, but he couldn’t fix God’s will, he just couldn’t. He was glad when they came over and shot something inside Brook’Lynn’s IV to get her to calm down and in a matter of minutes, she was finally resting.
He stood off to the side watching the staff try their hardest to revive the baby, but after what seemed like forever, it was nothing left for them to do. That was the hardest shit he’d ever had to do was watch her little lifeless body wrapped up in a blanket. They agreed to leave her there for a little bit so he and Brook’Lynn could have a little time.
Staring inside of the tiny incubator, he couldn’t help the tears, he wished it was something he could’ve done to save her, but it wasn’t. “Daddy loves you Heaven, continue to watch over mommy and daddy.” He whispered.
He had to prepare himself to break the news to Brook’Lynn when she woke up and he wished that was something he didn’t have to do.
He sat in the corner chair for the next hour waiting for her to wake up and when she did, he had to take a deep breath.
“Where’s my baby?” She asked. “Where’s Heaven?”
Perfect’s eyes shift from her to the baby and her eyes followed right along as he stood up to go grab the baby and bring her to her mommy.
The look in her eyes was one of horror, anger, hurt, and confusion. “Nooooo!” She cried, “How ya’ll let my baby die?How? What did I do so wrong? God whyyyy?” She placed her face in the palm of her hands feeling numb.
Perfect knew she was hurting so he tried not to take it personal. It took everything in him to pick the tiny baby up and place her in Brook’Lynn’s arms with her warm tears falling on the baby’s sunken in cheeks. “I loved you so much.” She cried. “I had so many plans for us. I guess God needed his angel back, but I wish he’d known that I needed you a little more.” She kissed the baby.
Perfect rubbed the crease of her back and stayed by her side, he was fucked up inside and he didn’t know how to express it. They had their moment with Heaven before Marley walked in with tears running down her face, “I’m so sorry you guys.” She rushed to her friend’s side, she was in her scrubs and on the clock, but she didn’t give a shit about that, she needed to be there for her friend.
Perfect took that opportunity to step away and go call his boys to let them know what was up. He needed them niggas the most right now, he even called Uncle Maine. When they told him they were on the way, he walked back inside the room only for Brook’Lynn to be looking like a deranged woman.
“Get out.” She told him.
