Page 64 of Ghetto Heartstrings
“We’ll be right here when you wake up again.” Kema promised her friend. Her light skinned face was visibly flushed and she looked distraught her damn self.
C2 couldn’t even front, he felt bad for her, he really didn’t like to see her down and it fucked with her to see him so broken down as well, “C2.” She said, “Let me holla at you real quick.” She walked out and stepped into the hallway with a warm hospital blanket wrapped around her body while she waited for him. Any other day he wouldn’t have went, but under the circumstances, he went along.
Leaning up against the wall with his dreads hanging in his face, he tucked his hands in his pockets and looked in her eyes, “What’s up?”
The words she wanted to put together to use were bouncing around in her head and she couldn’t seem to put them together.Fuck it,she thought,just let it out.She couldn’t understand how her bold ass out of all people was now standing in front of the man she loved scared to talk and get everything off of her chest, “You know what, never mind.” She prepared to walk away afraid of rejection.
C2 gently grabbed her arm and forced her to come back, “What’s up Kema, you got me out here now speak what’s on ya mind.”
Her eyes bounced around everywhere besides on him, “I mean, I wanted to talk but I don’t really know exactly what or how I want to say what it is I’m trying to say.”
C2 twisted his lips a little, “Just say exactly how you feel.”
She finally looked at him, “Life is too short for us to be beefing.” She blurted out.
He knew that was what she wanted, and he didn’t want her to feel bad thinking that he didn’t care about her cause truth was, he did. “We ain’t beefin’ tho.”
“We ain’t together either.” She replied.
“And who’s fault is that Kema?”
“I’m not trying to debate about this; I take full responsibility C2.” She admitted. “But when you come from a life where your own mother sold you for sex, your father was a pimp, and you’ve had to use your body your whole life just to survive cause the people who were supposed to love you ended up always dogging you, then it’s not easy. When you come across real love, it’s hard to accept because you really don’t know how to and that’s some real shit C2.”
“I had to stop fucking with you to find all this out though Kema, you foreal kidd?” C2 shook his head. “I tried to take you up out the club and show you what love felt like but you was so caught up living the fast life you ain’t appreciate shit.”
“I did C2.”
“You didn’t so own up to that shit ma.”
She took a deep breath, “Okay, maybe I didn’t but I’m accepting my flaws and trying to fix it now…I hate having to be forced to be around you knowing that this shit is killing me on the inside, like you know a bitch love you C2. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t act all crazy and end up going home crying and shit whenever I do see you.”
“If you hadn’t seen me with somebody else you still wouldn’t have gave a fuck,” he frowned, “This shit here is aggravating, the sun don’t rise and set on yo ass Kema. If you hadn’t seen me with Tika, you wouldn’t have been thinkin’ about my black ass.”
“That’s not true, I’ve been fucked up since you left me.”
“Yeah whatever Kema, a nigga done moved on.” He lied.
She knew better then that though, “Well why you so mad then?”
He pulled his dreads out of his way, “I’m not mad.” He shook his head.
She stepped closer to him and was now all in his personal space with her watery eyes and slightly red nose, she really was trying to hold the tears in. “Cause you not over me just like I’m not over you.”
He took a step back still focusing on her pretty face, “Man, what you got goin’ on Kema? What you doin’ with yo’ self?”
“I told you I gave up the club for good this time. I don’t do shit besides go to school and go to work. I haven’t fucked nobody or nothing, I don’t even talk to niggas, I’m done I’m trying to focus on me.”
C2 nod his head liking what he was hearing, and as bad as he wanted to pull her in and hug her, he had to put his feelings to the side and do what was best for her, “I’m proud of you ma, fo' real, but at the same time…I want you to stay on that path. Like, I don’t wanna give this shit another go and then my life becomes a distraction to you staying on track doing what you need to do.”
“When you love somebody, they’re not a distraction.” She replied, feeling rejected.
“I don’t mean it like that; I don’t want you getting comfortable is all I’m trying to say.”
“But if you love me, you’ll stick with me, and we can do this shit together.” She did some shit she never thought she would do feeling like she was begging as she gently grabbed his hand and placed it inside of hers. “We don’t have to move together or none of that, we can continue to live in separate places and build back up slowly.” She suggested.
C2 had to think about that shit long and hard, he couldn’t deny the fact that Kema was the first and only girl to get and actually keep his attention, besides all that, he did love her.“Friends…let’s start over and see how this shit go Kema.” He pulled her close to him in his strong arms. “This shit here is a probation period and if you fuck up with me, I’mma break yo fuckin’ neck this time. Friends don’t mistreat friends.”
Kema didn’t expect it, but she choked up on her own tears, as she placed her head on his chest feeling good to be in his arms again and this time it not being from him actually just holding her back from fucking Tika up. Speaking of Tika, she almost asked about her, but she refrained, she couldn’t worry about that, all she should be worrying about was her and everything else would fall into place. C2 eased his hand down to her soft ass and slightly gripped it.
