Page 131 of Devil in Disguise
He’d been listening to a lot of country music at night. It beat the emptiness. It wasn’t much fun to be a cliché, a man sitting alone at his kitchen counter, working his way through a steak with nothing but a stubborn refusal to lie down and die, listening to some song about how it felt when that girl you’d thought was your angel, sent to save you, turned out to be the devil in disguise.
Also, next week would be Dane’s last on the ranch, and he’d been avoiding Owen all this time. Waylon had been interviewing replacements, but so far, nobody looked that good.
Never mind. It was a good gig for a family man, coming with that big house. His dad was a fair boss, too, and anybody could see it. Some men were twisty, all corners and angles. His dad was straight ahead, and when he gave his word, he meant it.
He was the man Owen wanted to be.
Anyway, somebody good was bound to show up before July, when Owen would be reporting back to the Devils for another training camp. Another season of pushing himself, of ice baths and weights when his muscles were screaming and physical therapy sessions on his days off.
Like he’d said. Sometimes, life was a joy. Other times, it was a slog.
Out across the pasture, a trail of dust was coming closer, but Owen didn’t step away from the fence he was mending. Once again, it was a warm day, and he was out here mending fence. Same as that day almost a year ago when he’d been heading up to Wild Horse for Dyma’s graduation and wondering why he was doing it.
You could say he was still wondering.
The dust cloud increased and resolved itself into a white rig. Dane’s. Now, Owen did put down his tools. He took off his hat, wiped his face with a bandana, and settled the hat back on his head.
Dane pulled his rig up next to Owen’s own, climbed down slowly, walked over to him the same way, planted his booted feet, and said, “We need to talk.”
“OK,” Owen said. “Talk.”
Dane looked over Owen’s shoulder and sighed, then settled his own hat more firmly on his head and said, “I don’t want to go.”
The air leaked out of Owen’s body, and he said, cautiously, “Yeah?”
“Look, man.” Now, Dane was looking him in the eye again. “It’s hard to be your big brother.”
“Yeah,” Owen said. “I get it.”
“No. I don’t think you do. You can’t, because you’ve always been exactly that good. Between Dad on one side and you on the other? It hasn’t been easy to be just me.”
Owen wanted to say that Dane wasn’t “just” anybody, but it wouldn’t sit right coming from him, so instead, he said, “I was just thinking that about Dad. How he’s hard to live up to sometimes.”
“Yeah.” Another pause, and Dane said, “Anyway. I said yes to a job over at Rock Creek Ranch a few days back, and ever since, I haven’t wanted to go. Amy’s been bugging me to get going on moving and all, and I just … man, I didn’t want to do it. I talked it over with her some, and I realized that I want to stay. Mom and Dad are here. The boys love it. Hell,Ilove it. So I thought, what was hanging me up?”
“Me,” Owen said.
“Yeah. Pretty obvious, I guess. And all that shit I gave you, about Dyma and Ashley and all that? That was me trying to get a leg up.”
“You don’t need a leg up,” Owen said. “You’re my brother.”
Dane looked down, traced a pattern in the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Sorry it hurt you. When Ashley left. And Dyma. I told Amy what you said about that, about the night Ashley left, and she told me I was a dick. Said I needed to get over myself.”
“Women can do that,” Owen said. “I’m guessing Mom’s told Dad something like that a time or two. And you know—” This wasn’t going to be easy to say. He needed to say it anyway. “Some of that may have come from me. That I was jealous, too. I still am, probably. Seems I just keep choosing wrong, you know?” Now, it was his turn to look over his brother’s shoulder. “I thought I’d got it right this time, though.”
“Sucks,” Dane said.
“Yeah.” Owen tried to laugh. “Sure does. So, hey. Does this mean you’ll come to the Super Bowl next time?”
“Does this mean you’re going togetto the Super Bowl again?” Dane fired right back.
Owen smiled. “Tell you what. I’m going to try like hell.”
Dane clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, “If you do? I’ll be there.”
Owen teared up. He could feel it happening. He fought it, and then he thought,What the hell. He’s my brother. Let him see.He said, “That means a lot. Your big brother—it means a lot.”
“Aw, man.” Dane grabbed him and hugged him hard, and one of those tears made it out. “Sorry about Dyma. You really loved her, huh?”
