Page 135 of Devil in Disguise
“Uh … no. No. That just … that feels wrong.”
He sighed. “Are we going to have to negotiate this, too?”
“Well,yeah.”
“OK. How about this? When we get married, I’m paying Harlan back. I’m paying off those loans, too. And that’s non-negotiable. It’s a partnership, and that’s what partners do. They contribute what they’ve got.” When she would have answered, he held up a hand. “I’m not done. I’m also buying you a car, and not a crappy one you bought on what you made over the summer. One that’ll handle Wyoming in the snow. One where I can be confident that you’re going to get where you’re going safely, and that if some fool follows too close and slides into you, you’llstillbe safe.”
“As long as it’s not a Mercedes-Maybach whatever-it-is. I’m going to be a student.I want tolooklike a student.”
“Deal. We done with that one?”
She smiled. “We’re done.”
“One more.”
She sighed.“Owen.Could we get to the good part? Do you have any idea how much heartburn I’ve gone through over this? Or how much I want to make love with you right now?”
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ve got a pretty good idea. Seeing as I’m feeling exactly the same. Last one, then. No job during the school year. Nothing that keeps you from getting that degree as soon as you can, or that keeps you from coming home on the weekends.”
Home.He’d said “home.” She said, though, “How about internships? The admissions guy said there’d probably be internships, and internships are important.”
“Sure,” he said. “Internships. But minimum wage in Wyoming is $7.25 an hour. I’m not sitting here alone on the weekends because you’re making thirty bucks working the drive-thru at Jack in the Box. That’s not independence. That’s just …”
“Necessity,” she said, and when he reared back, “except not, not in this case. OK. I hereby give up my claim to scoop frozen yoghurt or work the fryer. It’s tough, but love requires sacrifice. Is that it? Engagement? You paying my debts, eventually? You buying me probably way too expensive of a car? Menothaving to do a crappy job? Gee, I wonder who’s getting the best of this deal?”
“Me,” he said. “Definitely me. And yeah, that’s it. Oh, except …” He hesitated.
She picked up the vision board, which had somehow fallen down and been blown up against the fence. She unfolded it and asked, “What does this have on it?” And put her finger on the spot.
“Uh … maybe I could tell if it wasn’t upside down?”
“Oh.” She reversed it. “Baby. In the corner.”
“Nobody puts Baby in the …?”
“Owen. No.It says I want kids! Eventually. But it’s in the corner,because not now.”
He stared at it, then at her, and there was no smile now. “How did you know what I was going to say?”
“Excuse me? Because I know you? Because Iloveyou? How do you think? Also, could we be done negotiating, please, and just behappy?I’m so ready to be happy.”
“Then,” he said, “let’s go back.” And took her hand.
Hestillhadn’t kissed her.
Not how she’d expected this to go.
* * *
This was nothow he made his decisions. This was not how he lived his life. He was rushing headlong, driving right over all the obstacles.
Then why did it feel so right? Why was it that the only thing he was sorry about here was that she hadn’t agreed to marry him now?
He drove way too fast on the way back to the house. In fact, they caught some air a time or two, and Dyma just laughed and hung on tighter. Which was why he had to do this. He didn’t want his life to be a slog. He wanted it to be an adventure. This was dancing on the dock in the dark, twirling her around, singing to her under his breath. Telling her that all it had taken was one look, and he’d fallen so hard and so fast. That the way she shone had caught him and held him ever since that day, and it would never let him go.
At the house, under the carport, and telling her, “Come on.” Up the steps to the porch and into the house without taking off his boots, without getting rid of the dirt. All the way through the house and into his bedroom, where he’d held her close in the night, had whispered everything into her ear that had been so hard to say in the light of day. Where he’d lain awake, these past two weeks, and wondered when this black cloud would let him go.
Today, that was when. Today.
