Page 101 of Just One Look
He said, “I told you I was sorry about that. I couldn’t believe you didn’t know it, and it annoyed me, so I reckoned I’d tell you.”
“Oh,” she said. “Well, congratulations. You told me.” And tried to laugh. It didn’t quite work, because her face wasn’t perfectly under control.
“And you don’t think I want a woman who can’t always keep dates,” he went on, as if she hadn’t spoken. “Who doesn’t … what? Wrap herself around me? Live for me? Come to all my games?” He made a face.
“Luka,” she said. “You’re casual. It’s obvious. You just said so. I’veseenso. And it’s OK.”
“No,” he said. “It’s not. If this is something, we should say it’s something.”
Her pulse rate was rising again, and there was a sort of hotness around her head, in her chest. “Oh,” she said. Stupidly.
“Do you think it’s something?” Asking her straight-out, tackling this directly, the way he did everything.
“Uh …” she said, then told herself,He’s asking you to tell the truth. Tell the truth. That’s supposed to be your life now.
The sign.
I Am Beautiful.
I Am Worthy.
I Am Lovable.
Maybe he needed to know that, too. The thought of telling him, though, made her breath hitch. She couldn’t climb out on that limb. It wasn’t sturdy enough to hold her. She said, “The thing you did with Gerald. I liked that, and it wasn’t just the idea of two men fighting over me, or whatever. Though, to be honest, that part was pretty fun. But when you wanted to take me to dinner, and then I thought you’d left me at your house alone, that you weren’t coming. That … that hurt. And then this. The sex. All theseemotions.And some of them feel so … so bad.” Her hands were shaking again. She looked at them in astonishment and said, almost to herself, “Am I getting Parkinson’s? Is that why I’m so out of control? Whatisthis?”
He took hold of them and gripped hard, and the shaking stopped. “No,” he said. “I don’t think you’re getting Parkinson’s. I think maybe we’re …”
“We’re what?” she asked. “We’rewhat?”
“I think,” he said slowly, “that we may be falling in love.”
