Page 48 of Just One Look
Olfactory Fatigue
She wasn’t goingto text him, of course. Instead, she texted Jordan the next day.
Semi disaster.
What?he texted back.He took you for a kebab and then demanded sex?
No. Opposite.
Her phone rang, and she sighed and answered.
“How opposite?” Jordan asked, the second she picked up.“Youdemanded sex, and he said no and devastated you? He said yes, but it was no good, because he’s a selfish, entitled wombat? I told you. Inappropriate sex, especially the exciting kind, all fast and furious, so often comes with a selfish partner. Primarily useful for later fantasy sessions, the brain being the most important sexual organ and so forth. Also, did you enjoy my use of ‘wombat’ there?”
“Excuse me? Have youmetme? We didn’t have sex.And wombats are Australian.”
“Then how was it disastrous?” When she hesitated, he said, “This is girl talk. This is thedefinitionof girl talk. You share, and you get help. What’s the first part of that? The sharing. I’m not a girl, of course, but gay-friend talk is the same. But better, because we don’t have any maidenly modesty about the dirty details.”
“See,” she burst out, “this is exactly the problem. I’m notgoodat girl things. I’m good at surgery. I’d be good at describing dirty details, too, but I don’t have any to describe!”
“You mean you haven’t let yourself be good at them,” he said, “or evenhavethem.”
“That’s what he said. Ugh.” It was a moan. “It was terrible.”
“He said you weren’t good at girl things?”
“Yes. No. He said …” She really didn’t want to tell Jordan what Luka had said. “It was extremely romantic. He did everything right. Expensive restaurant, maître d’, fancy wine, courtyard, et cetera. And then, of course …” She sighed. “I froze.”
“He did all that on a firstdate?A guy who doesn’t have to pull out all the stops—oranystops, probably—to impress a woman? Honey, this manreallylikes you. Or—wait. Who paid for all this?”
“He did. He insisted. And it wasn’t going to be like that,” she tried to explain. “But my dog ate my underwear, so … Anyway. It’s complicated.”
“Wait. Back up. Yourunderwear?You were having sex, or—wait, you said there wasn’t sex. You were fooling around on the couch or whatever, and the dog ate your underwear? Well, yeah, I can see how that could be a buzz kill. Although losing your panties is pretty far along for fooling around. I’m surprised at you, young lady.Pleasantlysurprised, of course, but still.”
“What? No. Of course not. The dog ate my underwear beforehand.Beforethe date. And then we induced vomiting. Luka was very helpful, actually. I think he must have had dogs at home on the farm, because the dog is actually obedient with him, and this dog is obedient about nothing.”
Jordan was laughing. Wonderful. “You’re kidding,” he managed to get out. “All right, you’re right. Disaster. But I like the idea of the obedient dog. Are we talking alpha male here?”
“Yes,alpha male. I told you. You saw his picture. What do youthink? Look up the videos of him playing. That’s exactly what he’s like. Fierce. Confident. Extremely manly.Wayout of my comfort zone. Also, now I’m going to have to do underwear shopping, too. The dog ate two pairs, and one of them was La Perla!”
“Sounds to me likehe’dtake you underwear shopping,” Jordan said, “if your date started out like that and his reaction was to say, ‘You know what? Let’s go someplace even more expensive, because I find your competence at inducing vomiting devastating and oddly arousing.’ Sure this guy doesn’t have some major kinks?”
“I’m not sure of anything,” she said. “Haven’t you noticed? And it was more because he felt sorry for me, I’m pretty sure. Also,heinduced the vomiting.”
“Elizabeth. A man does not think, ‘This woman clearly isn’t for me, but as a consolation prize, I think I’ll take her to an expensive restaurant and lavish her with romantic attention.’ This scenarioneverhappens. How expensive, exactly?”
“I didn’t see the bill, but I’m pretty sure it was close to three hundred. I’ve never had wine that good in mylife,not even at your house. He also recommended the lobster.”
“Three hundred,” Jordan said. “And he didn’t let you see the bill. That was not a consolation prize. That was the real deal. OK. Skip to the ‘disastrous’ part, because so far, I’m swooning.”
“I told you. He said some … some things. In the restaurant. Sexy, but not sleazy. Suggesting that I wasn’t used to a man taking his time and enjoying seeing me, well … enjoy myself. Except that he said it about wine, not sex. Hence the ‘not sleazy’ part. But, you know … there was wine. Candlelight. Also, he has really good eyes, and this sort of … weathered face. And a deep voice. And an extremely functional body. So …”
Jordan moaned. “All right. I want him. What happened next?”
“Well,next,I freaked out and told him I needed to go home, that’s what happened. He didn’t even kiss me goodnight. To be fair, I basically told him not to.”
“So he just dropped you off and ran?”
“No. Walked me to the door, and said … some other things, and that I should text him if I wanted to do something. Which I won’t, because it won’t work.And I’m sure he didn’t mean it anyway.”
