Page 60 of Just One Look
More Than This
Sofia said,“She was always a wet little sook.”
Elizabeth was half-standing. She needed to go after Piper, didn’t she? Or would that just make it worse? The shame was burning low in her gut, making her feel sick. She turned, though, at Sofia’s words.
Luka said, “No.”
Sofia said, “Pardon?”
“No,” he said again. “You can’t say that. Not now.” His face hard, shut down.
“Sorry,” Sofia said, seeming truly surprised. “Who gets weepy fifteen years on, though? Why would you want to carry around all that drama and heartburn? And what do you care? Sounds like it was her fault. Why are you still trying to protect her?”
“Because she’s in pain, and he understands pain.” That was Elizabeth, because how could she not say something? “Why shouldn’t he care about that, especially if he loved her?”
“What, you being out with Luka fifteen years on is more than she can take?” Sofia said. “Reckon she’d better put herself into a bubble if she can’t handle life better than that.”
Elizabeth had gone through her life not getting mad. How could you get mad when you could see other people’s limitations, but you could see your own, too? Now, there was a sort of buzzing in her head that was probably her blood pressure rising, and she was saying, “That’s cruel. She’s hurt, can’t you see that? Whetheryou’dbe hurt or not doesn’t matter.She’shurt. Luka’s your brother, so maybe this is your way of defending him, but why isn’t it a good thing that he doesn’t want to hurt her more? So he’s kind. How can that be bad? Also, Piper’s my stepsister, and there are worse things in the world than being sweet and … and soft.”
“Really?” Sofia said. “I have to say, you didn’t seem too fond of her. Haven’t seen her for how many years?Shedoesn’t think you’re fond of her, anyway. You could have some work to do there, if that’s how you feel.”
Luka stood up and said, “I’m getting a table for dinner. Elizabeth needs to eat.” The words came out choppy, and his face was still set in those hard lines.
Elizabeth thought,He still loves her. He’s still hurting over this.The idea was surprisingly jarring. Almost painful, like the old rivalry had sprung back to life, and she was that person again, that awkward, insecure, painfully self-conscious girl.
She wasn’t that girl, though. She was a grown woman who’d just seen how she’d hurt another person, somebody who didn’t deserve it. Maybe for years. Maybe forever. She might not have been capable of seeing back then, but she was capable now, so what was she going to do about it?
She said, “You’re right. I do have some work to do. And, Luka, I’d like that table. I need to eat. I’m buying, though. That was the deal.”
Sofia said, “Why am I getting the feeling I’m not invited?”
Luka said, “Because you’re not.” Then ran a hand over the back of his head, sighed, and said, “Never mind. Reckon Elizabeth’s right, and you were defending me. Feels like too much of a mismatch, though. It’s hard to feel good about winning the game if the other team’s not up to your weight. Anyway. Tell Mum I’m doing well. I’ll come up soon, when I get the chance.”
“Which seems to be just about never,” Sofia said.
“Because that’s the job,” Elizabeth said. “Other people think you’re avoiding them because you want to, but you aren’t. You’re working, and that’s the job.”
* * *
“To be fair,”Luka told her when it was finally just the two of them at a table in the restaurant, their orders placed, “it may be because I want to avoid them as well. I don’t ring up as much as I probably should, either.” He wouldn’t have placed any bets on how the rest of this night would go, but he was here anyway. You didn’t get anywhere if you didn’t take risks.
“Everybody has excuses,” Elizabeth said. “You have a better one than most, though. It’s a long way to … wherever it is you live. A few hours of driving, I think.”
“Yeh,” Luka said. “It is. Outside Whangarei.”
“And you have one day off a week. When you’re here. During which you … what? Get more physical therapy?”
“Generally,” he said. “Why are you trying to make me feel better? This was a bit odd, yeh, but that’s all. I don’t need jollying.”
“No?” she said. “Really? Because I thought it was pretty bad.Ineed jollying, and I wasn’t the love of her life. Just a terrible stepsister, apparently. You know—you go through life telling yourself your story. You’ve got your script, and good lord, have you ever memorized your lines. What a surprise to realize you may have been in the wrong play all along.”
She wasn’t going to ask him about Piper, he guessed, which was better. If it hadn’t been a good feeling to see her trying not to cry, it would feel worse to rubbish her behind her back. The whole thing had happened a long time ago, and if it had hurt, it didn’t hurt anymore.
“Sounds like a bad dream,” he said. “The sort where you’re sitting an exam for a class you’d forgotten you were taking, or running out with a new team, and you don’t know any of the plays. You never did get that Scotch. Want it now?”
She took a sip of water. “Not a good idea, actually. I’m driving, and I have a tricky tumor resection at eight tomorrow that could take six or seven hours.”
“That’s early to start doing work that hard,” he said. “You’re eating pretty late, too. Not worried about getting enough sleep?”
