Page 41 of Hell Bent
His voice sounded … something. Weary, maybe. Almost defeated, and the hair was prickling on my arms. Sebastian never sounded defeated. I said, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” he said. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
Suddenly, I wasn’t agitated or uncertain. I said, “You could come over and have a cup of tea and talk it out, if you like.”
“A cup of tea?” he asked, still sounding distracted.
“That’s what women have,” I said, “when they’re upset and need to talk. That or wine, but I don’t have wine. What do men drink in that situation? Beer, probably, but I don’t have any beer, either.”
“I’m not going to dump my problems on you,” he said. “And I don’t drink during the week. Or much at all during the season.”
“You’re driving me nuts,” I informed him. “Is this some more of the ‘men can’t be vulnerable’ thing? Because that’s garbage. Of course you can. Of course youare.Tell me in person. Tell me on the phone. Or call Harlan and tell him, but tell somebody. Don’t just call me up and sound that upset and not let me help.”
“There isn’t much to say. My nephew Ben’s coming to stay, that’s all. Not a little kid. He’s fourteen.”
“Oh.” Then why had he sounded so upset? “For the rest of the Christmas break?” I guessed.
“No,” he said. “For—for a while.”
“Ah.” I waited, but he didn’t say anything, so I hazarded a guess. “Are his parents divorcing or something? But wouldn’t he be in eighth grade, ninth, something like that? Doesn’t he have to go to school?”
“No,” he said. “Or yes. He’ll go remotely at first, I think. I’m not sure. The thing is—he’s coming to live with me. Looks like I’m going to be his guardian.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. Which could make my dating life interesting. Why I called you.”
“OK,” I said, “let’s start with Step One and go from there. You’ve got a lot on your plate. Do you want to just bag the whole idea of me coming to your game and so forth? You haven’t made any commitments. We’ve been out together once.”
“Twice,” he said. “I told you, the hamburgers count.” Sounding more like himself, at least. “And, no, of course I don’t want to do that.”
“You sound tired,” I said.
“A little,” he admitted. “Been on the phone with my sister and an attorney ever since I got home from practice, and it’s …” He stopped, like he didn’t want to admit that he was overwhelmed. Like I wouldn’t think it was manly.
“How about Ben?” I asked. “What does he think?”
“Ah,” he said. “Ben. Ben won’t talk to me.”
“Sebastian,” I said. “What happened?”
“My sister’s dying.” His voice bleak as winter. “Soon. Cancer.”
“Oh, no.”
“Yeah. Unfair. She’s thirty-six. There’s a gene, I guess. Same one that got our dad. She’s a single mom, dad’s not involved, so I’m all there is. Ben’s flying down on Saturday. I can’t go up and get him. I won’t even be here for his first night, because I’ll be at the team hotel. That’s bugging the hell out of me.”
“You’re all there is again, you mean,” I said. “It’s on you again.”
“What? No. That’s not what I meant. I just meant …”
“That you’re not sure you can do it,” I realized. My heart was aching. For a man I barely knew, and a boy I didn’t know at all. “Sebastian. You can do this.”
“How do you know?” he asked.
“Because you’ve done everything else. You say you’re a lucky man, but that’s not all of it. You’re a hard-working man. A solid man. That’s how you’ve gotten where you are. If you choose to do this, you’ll do it as well as you’re capable of.”
“I’m not what you think,” he said. “I’ve never married anyone. Never lived with anyone, never owned a home, andI’m thirty-one. The longest I’ve played for a team is three seasons, every car I’ve ever had has been leased, and every condo I’ve lived in came furnished.”
