Page 71 of Hell Bent
Now, I was finishing up that work, then climbing into my truck in the December dark, my body pretty darn tired after four days of pain, but I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about Sebastian again, and not about his body.
Five-forty. His plane didn’t land until almost six-thirty. What was I going to do, drive my dirty self to his apartment and sit there for an hour waiting for him? No. I drove home, took my shower, ate leftovers from the night before, and then looked at the time again.
Seven-ten. I hesitated, thought about a text, and hit the phone icon instead.
Three rings and voicemail. I swore at myself, thought again about a text, and didn’t send it.
Five minutes later, my phone rang. I picked it up fast and said, “Hi.”
“Hi,” he said. Just that one word, and my heart sank.
“It was bad,” I said.
An exhalation. “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t answer. I was in the shower.”
“Ben?”
“Walking Lexi. With his headphones in. He barely said a word on the trip back. I—” He stopped.
“Have you had dinner?” I asked.
“Getting a delivery,” he said. “Any time now.”
“Oh. Good.” It was way too hard to tell what was going on in his head. No way to do this but to ask. “Would you like me to come over? Would it help?”
“Probably. But I’m not sure I’m up to talk, and you have work tomorrow and so do I.”
“I could come sleep with you again,” I said, feeling a little shy. “If it would help to have me.”
“Well, yeah, but Ben?—”
“What?”
“I’m not sure that would be good,” he said, and my heart did some more of that sinking. “Him hearing us.”
I had to laugh. “Sebastian. I’m not asking you to havesexwith me. Tonight? After the day you’ve had? I’m going to come over and demand you perform?”
“Hey, I can perform.” He had some amusement in there, somehow. Sebastian was a very strong man. “You seemed like you wanted to make me feel better, and that’d do it. Ifyou’refeeling better, of course.”
“Well, it’s not happening. But I’d like to come over. It would feel better for me, too. I know I don’t like fussing, but it’s better to think I can help.”
“Funny how that works,” he said, his tone dry.
“OK,” I said. “I get it. I have to be asleep by nine anyway, so I’m not going to make you talk. Or Ben, either, unless he wants to. I could pick up some ice cream on the way, though. What do you think?”
“Is this a trick question?” he asked. “Come.”
It was so normal.Exciting, having him open the door to me, having him immediately slide a hand into my hair, bend his head, and kiss me so thoroughly, all I could do was hang on,until he lifted his head, smiled into my eyes, and asked, “Why is my back cold?”
“Oh!” I hastily removed the hand with the bag of ice cream, then lifted it. “Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter and Ben & Jerry’s chocolate-chip cookie dough. The best of both worlds. Also thick hot fudge sauce, because it always makesmefeel better, anyway. Where’s Ben?”
“Living room. Of course.” I should have known that, as things were exploding over speakers inside the apartment.
“Before I go in there …” I searched his face. “How do I help?”
“By doing what you wanted me to do, I guess. Being there, but not fussing.”
“Good,” I said. “My specialty.” And did it. I sat and watched Ben’s movie with him for half an hour as he and I ate big bowls of ice cream and hot fudge sauce and Sebastian didn’t, and then I got up and said, “I’ll say goodnight.”
