“You could totally be a model. Or a statue. Like some Greco-Roman thing or something. All posed like a goddess or some shit,” he said, patting Minos’ thigh at the same time, because he seemed to get a little tense when the lady sat down.
“But don’t worry, Big Guy, I totally prefer your dick to Greco-Roman statue girl over there. And I haveplansfor that dick. I just want her shampoo, because then you could run your hands through my hair and it would be all soft and shiny. Oh, or when you grab me by the hair, it would be like holding silk. So hot.” And Adam started fanning himself a little just thinking about it.
Whatever he said eased something in the room, because Minos seemed to untense a bit, and statue lady looked suddenly less statuesque. She even pulled out some little figurine, a paintbrush, and a little palette thing with a lid. She rested the palette on the arm of the chair, uncapped it, and started painting the figurine. Where the hell had she been storing that? It wasn’t big, but he hadnotseen any bulges in her dress.
“Is that, like, some kind of Mary Poppins dress or something? Because there were no bulges in your dress, and I am like a total pro at noticing bulges.” Adam snickered. “Pun totally intended,” he added.
“And holy shit, is that Minos?” Adam hopped off Minos’ lap at that, to which Minos gave a bit of a growl, but he kept walking over to get a closer look.
“Oh my demon—I’m trying to not use the g-word, but I don’t know if ‘Oh my demon’ works, ya know?” he said to the woman’s bemused face. “Anyway, that thingtotallylooks like him! Fantastic! And look at the cute fangs! Minos! She’s got your fangs carved in here!” he gushed, turning around to see Minos looking decidedly not thrilled.
“Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Sexy Demon, you still look all menacing and evil,” he said to Minos before turning back to the woman. “I’m Adam, by the way. I take it you aren’t here to be judged? You aren’t doing the whole kneeling and crying thing, and no demon came in with you. Are you an upstairs reject like me?”
She laughed at that, and Minos growled again, so Adam walked back over and climbed into his lap, and Minos wrapped his arms firmly around Adam, probably so he wouldn’t get up again. Adam certainly didn’t object. He was atotalcuddleslut.
“I love your cuddles,” he whispered to Minos, because good habits should totally be encouraged. The woman laughed loudly at that, and Minos growled again. He did not seem pleased with the woman for some reason.
“Uh oh, is she, like, some arch nemesis or something? Because you don’t seem thrilled. And I can totally hate her on principle if she’s on your shit list. Just let me know. I mean, I may forget and talk to her, because, hello, I’ll talk to anyone, but I cantotallydo snarky when I do talk to her. I have snark. I can bring the resting bitch face.” And then Adam glared at her, because it seemed fitting.
Which made her laugh again and made Minos hug him closer, but his big guy also seemed to ease up on being so tense.
“Oh darling, he is a precious pet. Wherever did you find him?” she asked.
“Ohdarling,” he said sarcastically (see, he could be snarky), “he didn’t find me. I found him. And I hit on his sexy ass the minute I was dropped in for judgment. And Iamsitting right here, so maybe stop referring to me like I’m not here or even a person. Which, I mean, maybe I’m not technically a person, since I’m dead. But you get the point.
“Andeven if you’re dead, or a demon, or whatever, you ought to introduce yourself when someone introduces themself to you. And oh my god, are you from upstairs? Because you are totally giving me upstairs vibes here.”
Minos laughed at that, and Ms. Darling, whose name he still didn’t know, looked utterly shocked. She paused with her paintbrush an inch away from her figurine like she was literally frozen, just staring at Minos.
“This, my dear Adam, is Pandora,” Minos said, waving his hand toward the woman, who still looked shocked. “And she is not an arch nemesis. She does occasionally get on my nerves, but she is harmless. No snark necessary.”
“Oh, thank goodness. Because snark is hard all the time, you know? It just isn’t my default state. Life’s too short to be mean. Which was totally a true saying in my case, since Iamdead.”
And then a lightbulb went off in Adam’s head, because he gasped, looking over at Pandora. “Oh my god! Are you THE Pandora? With the box?”
At which point Pandora sighed, sliding the figurine and paint back wherever it had come from. And didn’t the paint get her dress all… painty? Because Adam thought about stuff like that. But she didn’t seem worried, and he was a little preoccupied with this possibly being a mythical woman, so he figured he’d ask Minos later.
“I will never live that down,” she muttered. “And listen, it wasn’t like Earth was all perfect and sin-free before that anyway. And how was I supposed to know what was in the box?”
“Listen, I totally feel you,” Adam cut in. “If my hubby had some secret box he didn’t tell me about, you can bet your ass I’d be opening it up to see what was inside. If he had simplytoldyou what was in the damn thing, it wouldn’t have been a problem.” Adam turned to Minos at that.
“So Mr. Sexy Demon, no secrets. Look what happens. Relationships end. Evil is released upon the world. Always bad things. No. Secrets,” Adam reiterated, poking Minos in the chest on the last two words.
Minos simply chuckled. “No secrets. I may forget to tell you things, but I will never keep anything from you on purpose.” And Adam figured that would have to do, so he patted Minos’ chest instead of poking.
Minos turned toward Pandora. “Yes, this is THE Pandora,” he said. “And no, she isn’t from upstairs, although she certainly could be promoted if she wanted to be. However, she’s become like a queen in Limbo, and I doubt she’ll be moving along anytime soon.”
“And upstairs doesn’t throw parties like Limbo does,” Pandora added, smiling. “I will certainly not be getting promoted, as you call it, anytime soon. I’m quite content where I am.”
“Parties? Did you say parties? There are Limbo parties?” Adam asked, practically squirming in excitement. He saw Pandora grinning like she’d just won a prize, and he heard Minos groan and felt his head drop down on top of Adam’s.
Ok, so he knew parties probably weren’t Minos’ scene, but he totally wanted to see Limbo. And Adam might be dead, but he didn’t have to act like it. Fun was totally called for.
Besides, Minos had never partied with Adam. He’d show his demon a good time.
Chapter10
Minos
