Page 23 of A Beginner's Guide to Christmas Miracles
“So, I hate to ask, but maybe we need to figure out this whole writing on the wall thing? Because I don’t think Alan will be too thrilled to come home to words on every surface. Although, I guess you probably healed his mom? So he would actually forgive you anything,” Beck realized. Another chime sounded then. “Still, the chiming is kinda annoying.”
“Yes, I suppose I better explain,” Nach admitted. “I didn’t realize how… persistent the messages would be, but then I’ve never ignored interoffice mail from the leadership team before. I suppose I shall have to read it at some point, but perhaps some backup might be in order. I think I know just who to contact, as well.”
Nach was thoughtfully rubbing his beard, and Beck had a moment to mull over the absurdity of his life at this moment.
Apparently he had fallen in love with an angel (which was crazy but also kinda cool). And apparently heaven had a leadership team. And sent interoffice mail. And was annoying. And now his sexy angel was going to call for some sort of assistance, because this interoffice mail was obviouslynotgood news. Maybe Nach knew he was being called back to heaven, and he didn’t want to go?
“Ah, I think I know what to do?” Nach finally admitted, although he didn’t sound very confident. “I’ll need a mirror, though, I think.”
Beck followed him over to the entryway, where they had a small mirror hanging at head height on the one wall inside the door. (What? Beck liked to make sure his boy band hair was looking good before he left the house.)
Nach proceeded to… draw on the mirror? With his finger? It looked a little weird, and Nach looked more than a little unsure. When he finished, he turned and walked out into the living room a bit, so Beck did the same, not sure what to expect.
If he gave a slightly high pitched, loud scream when a short, red demon appeared in front of the Christmas tree, could he really be blamed? The demon was shorter than him but bulky, it had black horns, a tail, and it was wearing some type of loincloth kinda thing. It also looked pissed.
Beck had backed up into Nach, who wrapped his arms firmly around Beck, pulling him over to his side and keeping one arm firmly around him. And that’s when Beck felt something else at his back, so he looked over, and holy shit, Nach had wings. Beautiful, white, feathery wings. Beck had to resist the urge to reach out and pet one, but now probably wasn’t the time.
“Why is an upstairs afterlifer summoning me? What business do you have, angel?” the demon growled out.
“I was, uh, trying to summon Minos?” Nach admitted.
The demon scoffed. “Ha! Like Minos has time to deal with angelic interference. The Judge of the Damned is busy and cannot be bothered with upstairs nonsense. What do you want, angel?” it asked.
“Well, I need to speak to him,” Nach demanded. “It’s important.”
The demon seemed to really notice Nach then, squinting a bit.
“Is that you, Santa Clause?” it finally howled out, cackling. “Have you been naughty? We even heard downstairs about your Christmas fiasco. We thought you were banned from topside!”
Beck looked over at Nach, more than a little confused, but Nach was blushing brightly.
“Wait. Hold on. Nach, are youactuallySanta Clause?” Beck whispered.
The demon chose to answer, however, and his poor Nach looked more than a little mortified. “What was it? You just wanted to give some kids some presents?” it chortled. “Every year! And put up some lights? And maybe create some feasts? How did younotthink you’d make it into human folklore?”
“Well, it was a sad time of year, and people needed joy,” Nach admitted sheepishly. “And we had such fun the first year, and so it… expanded. The lights were just pretty, because the nights were so dark and long, and food was sparse, so what was a feast or two in the mix?”
Beck was staring at Nach. O.M.G.
He was literally dating Santa Clause.
He hadsleptwith Santa Clause. (And it was really good sex, too, but still. Santa Clause.)
Ok, so maybe the whole thing was actually kinda cool. Beck loved Christmas, so wasn’t it, like, pretty much perfect that he’d end up dating the actual Santa?
“Wait, wait. What about the sleigh?” Beck asked, thinking about all the Christmas folklore surrounding Santa.
“Well, I often borrowed some sleighs in the villages I was in to carry around the trees. I didn’t ever make the sleighs fly though,” Nach assured him.
“That was just the reindeer, wasn’t it?” the demon laughed out.
“Hey, that wasn’t even my idea. Arioch didn’t want to leave them behind, and he was the one who made them fly!” Nach insisted. He turned to Beck then. “Animals… like me. A few times a demon of chaos tagged along, and really, that’s my fault, because I should have known better. So yeah, that’s where the flying reindeer come from.”
“You didn’t ride in the sleigh; you pulled trees with it?” Beck asked.
“Some of those homes were dark and dank and, well, people didn’t bathe as much back then, especially in winter. Some fresh pine always added a lovely odor, and the trees brightened things up, and and then the people could use the wood for burning and keeping warm. It was a kindness. And yes, it looked pretty. Festive and fun,” Nach admitted.
“You started quite a mess. I heard the leadership team was madder than a pit worker with no one to torture,” the demon laughed.
