Cass breathed a sigh of relief then, looking over at Kushiel. “Sorry about that. No time for translations with that one. She was obviously… distraught.”
Kushiel couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, and Cass smiled in response. “Distraught seems like an understatement based on the number of times you flinched,” Kushiel joked.
“Yeah. Some people stick around to be ghosts, but they don’t realize that means they don’t get away from the drama that plagued them in life. Based on some of that ghost’s ranting, it sounds like she and the boyfriend were having a tough time anyway, which is probably why she isn’t mad at him. She didn’t expect that of her friend, I think, and that’s why she’s so upset. But some people deal with grief in funny ways.” Cass shrugged.
“Yes, all the human emotions can cause difficult responses,” Kushiel agreed.
Cass nodded in agreement, then stated, “True. Still, I highly doubt anyone murdered her—it sounds like she was in some kind of accident, but I’ll have someone look into it anyway just in case. Maybe the ghost is projecting onto her best friend but someone really did harm her. Do you mind if I text my contact now to see if they’re available?”
“Of course not,” Kushiel responded. “It isn’t like we have any leads on the lost souls, as much as it pains me to admit it.”
Cass nodded, adding, “Yes, I was hoping we’d have something from Aunt Ro by now. The good news is that after this I can devote myself entirely to you, because the shop will be caught up.”
As he picked up his phone and started typing a text, Kushiel had to suppress a shiver. He knew Cass didn’t mean that to sound the way it did, but the idea of Cass devoting himself entirely to Kushiel was… alluring.
Kushiel thought of Cass’s hand on his arm, the warmth of his flesh, the touch both firm and yet gentle somehow at the same time. He thought of that hand traveling up his arm, sliding over his shoulder, and coming up to rest against his face, perhaps gently cradling his cheek. He closed his eyes, and it was likehe could feel Cass’s skin against his, and could he be blamed if he thought of Cass then leaning forward and pressing his lips against Kushiel’s? It would be gentle at first, his lips pressing firmly…
“Kushiel?” Cass asked.
Kushiel started, his eyes flying open. His hand was on his lips, and he jerkily put his arm down, sitting up straighter in his chair. He almost scoffed at himself; he was the Rigid One of God, for heaven’s sake, and here he was getting lost in daydreams like some fledgling angel. They had a mystery to solve and a ghost to help.
“I apologize,” Kushiel said stiffly. “I was… distracted.”
“That’s alright, no worries. They’ll be here in like twenty minutes as long as you don’t mind waiting.”
“Of course not,” Kushiel answered.
There was a moment of silence then, and Cass was staring at him. Kushiel was desperate to change the subject before Cass asked what he was distracted by. He certainly didn’t want to lie to Cass, but admitting what he was thinking would be… mortifying. Whatever would Cass want with someone like him?
Kushiel cleared his throat, derailing his train of thought, and he asked, “Before we were interrupted, were you going to ask me something?”
“Ah, yeah, I was,” Cass murmured before looking down.
Kushiel didn’t like seeing him hesitant. Cass was confident and in charge. He said that Kushiel was beautiful, but Cass was truly the beautiful one. He was kind and sweet and competent, and he was powerful and intelligent. Kushiel had no desire to cause him to feel unsure of himself.
“I will tell you anything I can, Cassius. I promise,” Kushiel assured him.
“Yes, well, ah, it’s just that it’s maybe a little personal,” Cass responded. “I don’t want to trample over any boundaries you might have.”
“I would have no boundaries with you, Cass,” Kushiel responded. He blushed after he said it, because he realized that he meant it, and he meant it in more ways than Cass could even guess.
Cass smiled at him gently, making Kushiel feel even more… he didn’t even know what to call it. Uncomfortable wasn’t the right word. It was a nice feeling, but also a scary one. It was like a mix of nervous and happy, and it was strange.
Kushiel cleared his throat then, simply saying, “I will not lie to you. I will tell you if I cannot answer or if I am uncomfortable. You may ask me anything, Cassius.”
“I wondered… well, you shy away from touch. I’m not offended or anything,” Cass rushed to add, probably because Kushiel felt mortified again, and Cass must have noticed. “It’s perfectly fine, but I just wondered why you didn’t like to be touched,” Cass added.
Kushiel took a deep breath. “I did not mind your touch earlier, Cassius. I… enjoyed it,” Kushiel assured him. Cass smiled, but he let Kushiel sort out his thoughts and waited for him to continue speaking. He probably knew there was more to it, and there was. Kushiel had promised no boundaries.
“It is… painful for me,” Kushiel started, and Cass looked appalled at that, so Kushiel rushed to reassure him. “Not your touch. Your touch is not painful. You may touch me anytime you like,” he rushed out, then he wanted to bang his head against a wall, because he just kept saying suggestive things without even meaning to.
“I’m sorry. I’m mucking this all up,” he grumbled.
Cass reached slowly over, resting a hand gently on his arm. “It’s okay, Kushiel. Take your time. Anything you want to tell me, I’ll be happy to hear,” Cass assured him.
Kushiel barely moved. It was like a beautiful and rare butterfly had landed on his arm, and he was afraid if he even twitched Cass’s hand would take flight, and he would lose that gentle touch against his skin. He realized he was staring at Cass’s hand and looked up, but Cass was again just smiling softly at him,
What had he done to deserve to be in this man’s presence? Cass was so thoughtful and lovely, and it took Kushiel’s breath away for a moment. He would tell Cass anything he wanted to know. Hopefully it would not make him draw away.
