“Hell… it burns. Not for demons, I don’t think, but I am not a demon. At first, it was excruciating, but I had a job to do, and I did it. My body was like one giant nerve ending of pain when I was there, although it grew less and less as the centuries wore on. To be touched in hell is not comfortable. Then there is heaven. As the centuries drew on, hell became less uncomfortable, but heaven became colder and colder. To be touched in heaven is like dipping my skin into a bucket of ice water, only colder. It feels like my skin will shatter like a hollow ice cube. So over time I became less likely to seek out touch, and honestly, others became less likely to touch me. I think they all saw my lowered status, and they drew away.”
Cass squeezed his arm at that, but he stayed silent and let Kushiel continue on. “In Limbo and here on Earth, touch is not painful, but I was never one to venture topside that often. I had so much work to do in Limbo and on Erebus,” Kushiel finished.
“But it can be painful in Limbo, can’t it?” Cass murmured, squeezing Kushiel’s arm again lightly. “When you are punishing a soul who seeks redemption, it’s painful then, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it is,” Kushiel admitted.
At that moment Steph yelled out Cassius’s name, and Cass looked apologetically at Kushiel. “I think my contact is here. We’ll chat more later, ok?” he asked.
“Of course, Cassius. Work comes first,” Kushiel agreed, standing up and heading out of the back room and toward the shop to meet Cassius’ contact.
Chapter 13
Cassius
Cass tried to get his head back onto troublesome ghosts and off the beautiful, heartbreaking angel he was following behind.
So much pain. Cass fought off his indignation. He didn’t get involved in afterlife politics. He knew plenty about the afterlife from his teachings growing up, and the information had been passed down through the generations that everyone wanted to avoid the “leadership team” at all costs, and so they dealt with ghosts and tried to stay off the radar for demons and angels. Of course they offered help, but his family didn’t give details about themselves or get too involved in demonic or angelic affairs.
Still, he had the urge to find his way to some higher level angel and give them a piece of his mind. Kushiel was selfless and cared so much that he was literally willing to sacrifice pieces of himself to help those in need, and yet he was ostracized for it. Not only that, but he felt actual pain in both heaven and hell. What kind of bullshit was that? No wonder Kushiel felt so alone and so unworthy.
Cass vowed to change that. Kushiel was beyond worthy, and Cass would make him see that.
They had reached the front of the store, and his thoughts were interrupted when he heard Ari call out, “Bruh! You found Cassius! Michael said he thought maybe our coffee shop dude could help you find who you were looking for!”
“Let’s take this to a table, yes?” Cass said, shooing them all over to one that was in a corner where sound didn’t carry very well. Not that such a thing would really matter with Ari—the demon was exuberant.
They all made their way over and took seats, and Cass wasn’t surprised to see Michael practically sitting on Ari’s lap after Ari dragged him closer. Michael looked quite pleased to be dragged so close, too. It made Cass realize that Kushiel was kind of like Michael in some ways. Michael didn’t seem to initiate touch or affection that often with Ari, yet it was obvious that he loved it when Ari did it.
It was something to think about. He thought Kushiel could definitely use some affection, and clearly he would need to take the initiative, because Kushiel certainly wouldn’t. Did Cassius also secretly hope that the affection would not be entirely platonic? Yes, yes he did. He would respect Kushiel’s boundaries, of course, but he had a feeling that Kushiel would welcome more intimate touch.
Cass tried not to think about soulmates and possibilities, but that was hard with Michael and Ari sitting in front of him, the two of them tied so clearly together.
“Are you able to help Kushiel find who he’s looking for?” Michael asked. “Ari and I know about the situation, but Ari’s vision was really limited. We’ve been trying to help as best we can, but you seem to know a lot, so we hoped you could help.”
“Yes, Cassius has provided assistance,” Kushiel stated. He didn’t elaborate, although Michael was clearly waiting for more information.
“I’m actually here to ask you to look into a recent death if possible. There are people who are concerned, and I promised to pass it along. I knew I could trust you to see if there was more to it,” Cassius stated. He then filled in Michael and Ari on the girl who had passed, asking them to make sure it was an accident.
“Bruh, my little s’more and I got you covered,” Ari said when Cass was done. “But dudes, what about all this lost soul stuff? Any progress?”
“Yes, we are looking into it. Apparently they are hidden from my view, but I have every confidence that Cassius will help me,” Kushiel stated.
Cass noticed that he avoided giving them too much information about him, which he appreciated. Really, at this point, he thought it would be ok, but he was still thankful that Kushiel was respecting his privacy.
Ari seemed like he was gonna ask more, but Michael sort of elbowed him and said, “Ok. You guys know where we are if you need help. We’ll be on our way. Keep us posted.”
“I shall. Thank you both,” Kushiel nodded.
Michael and Ari got up and started walking out then, but when they got to the door, Michael paused and turned around. “Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Grams asked after you just the other day. She wanted to know if you liked her gift.”
“Oh,” Kushiel stated, clearly surprised. “Yes, tell her thank you, although it hasn’t really been chilly.”
“Yeah, true,” Michael laughed. “Well, you guys enjoy your afternoon!”
They left at that, and Cass looked at Kushiel, who seemed oblivious to the importance of what had just occurred.
“Kushiel?” Cass asked, trying to remain calm.
