“What’s the matter? Is he dying?” Aunt Ro shrieked, seeing the tears in Cass’s eyes. Kushiel’s face winced in pain at the noise.
“Lower your voice, Aunt. He isn’t dying. I mean, technically, I don’t think he can die? I don’t know. But at any rate, he’ll be alright. Don’t you see it?” he asked her.
“Well, yes, I can see his light. He really is one of the brightest angels I’ve ever seen, but you know your sight has always been better than mine. You are the most gifted amongst our line in ages, Cass. Perhaps those in charge knew you would need to see more than those who had gone before,” she mused.
“I thought we avoided those in charge,” Cass responded, still staring down in awe at the gold thread. It seemed that Aunt Ro couldn’t see, but he didn’t puzzle over that too much. He did have the best sight in generations, but even so, he knew he’d have to stop looking so hard soon, because it was a strain. Still, he couldn’t help marveling at the connection between them for a few more moments.
“No, Cassius. We avoid upper management, but they’re notactuallyin charge, although don’t tell them that. There are those above them, and I think there’s a greater plan at play.” Shepaused, then she murmured, “He did what I think he did, didn’t he?”
It was a confusing statement, but Cass knew what she was getting at. “Yes, Aunt. He pushed his light, his very being, into the ghost. He gave a part of himself over to heal the lost soul. I think it’s what he always does. I think it’s how he rehabilitates souls and enables them to be reincarnated. But I think it’s usually a much slower process.”
“But, Cassius, it doesn’t work that way. Souls don’t… refill. It isn’t like Kushiel is a cup of water that can be refilled. If he dumps all his water into other souls, he’ll be empty,” she insisted, taking the metaphor a bit too far.
“I don’t know, Aunt. Perhaps his soul is just that bright. Perhaps he has that much to give. Or perhaps he somehowisable to refill the light within his own soul. I couldn’t say, but all I know is that he glows just as brightly as he did before, and yet we both saw his light pouring into the ghost.”
Cass looked at his aunt then, and she just nodded in response.
“But why is his skin gray and his hair dark? He glows more brightly than other angels, and they don’t have those markings. That doesn’t seem fair,” she muttered.
“I think it’s because of his visits to hell. Our surroundings influence us—maybe it’s the equivalent to human’s getting a tan when they spend a lot of time in the sun. It’s just a shame that apparently other angels judge him for it,” Cass grumbled. It really did upset him to think about.
“Well those small-minded, idiotic, harp-playing snobs are merely candles to his sunshine. That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. Are you really telling me he’s judged for his appearance?” she huffed.
Cass just shot his aunt a look, and she nodded in response.
“Yes, I suppose that is exactly what would happen,” she sighed, sitting down beside them. “Cass, we can’t let him be hurt. He would give himself up entirely, and he’s too good for such a thing.”
Cass smirked at her. “No longer suspicious of him?” he mocked.
She only huffed. They had both seen what he did, after all. They had both seen the ghost take form and shape in front of them, being fed from Kushiel’s light. He didn’t know how much further Kushiel would have gone, but he could tell it had pained the angel greatly to do what he did.
Cass wouldn’t let Kushiel hurt himself. There had to be a better way, and together they would find it. Otherwise Kushiel would drain himself entirely in order to help others.
Cass knew his aunt was right; souls were not like a cup that you could empty and fill, and yet somehow Kushiel’s soul had dimmed and then brightened again, like that was exactly what he did. It was like he had an endless well of light somewhere that he could draw from, and yet Cass couldn’t imagine how that was possible.
He was also afraid for Kushiel, because if Kushiel emptied himself too quickly, which had clearly been what he was doing here, what would happen? If the metaphorical cup was empty, could it be refilled? Or would it shatter, and Kushiel would be no more?
Cass had no intention of finding out the answer to that question, that was for sure.
Kushiel stirred slightly in his arms, and Cass gently pulled his hand back, making sure the gold thread stayed attached. He let his extra sight go then and simply focused on Kushiel’s face, which was creased and confused-looking, but his eyes were fluttering like he was finally waking up.
Kushiel opened his eyes, and Cass smiled lovingly at him. Kushiel’s hand reached up and gently touched Cass’s face, fingers trailing across his cheek.
“Am I dreaming?” he whispered.
“After the nightmare you put us through, I’d say not. Young man, you simply cannot risk yourself like that again,” Aunt Ro lectured.
Kushiel’s hand fell away, and he looked over at Aunt Ro, muttering, “Definitely not a dream then. And I haven’t been a young man in… well, ever.”
“Hmph. Well when you make stupid decisions you might as well be a young man. What did you think you were doing, hmm? You going to waste all your energy on one ghost? How many other ghosts are out there who probably need your help? You can’t give everything you have to one ghost. There’s too much work to be done. You have to take care of yourself first, Kushiel, and what you did wasnottaking care of yourself first,” she chastised.
Kushiel looked up at Cass then, a tiny frown on his face. “Is she lecturing me?” he asked.
Cass just laughed. “Yes, she certainly is.” Cass ran his hand through Kushiel’s hair again. Kushiel closed his eyes, obviously enjoying the sensation. Cass let the smile fall from his face, adding, “She is right, though. You gave us quite a start, and it was obviously painful for you. Promise me you won’t do that again, K.”
Kushiel opened his eyes and saw the serious look on Cass’s face, and he seemed immediately contrite. “I’m sorry, Cass. I did not mean to startle you.” He looked at Aunt Ro too. “I didn’t mean to startle either of you. I probably did push a little too much with that soul, and I do know better. I was just so surprised and angry at what had been done to it. I reacted.”
“Well, be sure to make better judgments next time. We can’t have you harming yourself,” Aunt Ro huffed.
