Kushiel could have transported them back to land rather easily, but he hadn’t. He felt a bit guilty about it, but he’d been enjoying the afternoon too much with Cassius. Plus, it wasn’t like they could accomplish anything on land that they couldn’t accomplish on the yacht.
They’d chatted about possible places Mammon might have hidden the souls, pondering how exactly Mammon had even turned them into ghosts. It seemed beyond a demon’s power, and they had no answers as to how he’d done it.
Cass had used the galley to cook them something for a late lunch, or perhaps an early dinner by the time they ate. They’d also done plenty of snuggling, and Kushiel had just enjoyed being with Cassius.
Kushiel hadn’t had a lot of moments where he was comfortable just being himself, but Cass was constantly telling him how beautiful he was or how brightly he shone, despite the fact that he was literally gray. Kushiel thought it had probably been centuries since he had been comfortable in his original form, yet Cass gave that back to him.
They were sitting in the saloon on the couch, the sea breeze blowing in through the open doors, comfortably stuffed fromdinner. Kushiel knew they probably had another half hour before they ended up back at the dock and were back to lost soul hunting. Cass was snuggled up next to him, and they were sitting in easy silence, content to be together. Kushiel couldn’t help feeling a little guilty, though. Cassius was always saying nice things to him, yet he didn’t really reciprocate. He realized he had been doing a poor job of appreciating his human.
Kushiel cleared his throat, then said, “I want you to know how much I appreciate you, Cass. I probably haven’t said it enough, but I’m so thankful for your help and for you just being you. You say nice things to me all the time, and I realized I probably don’t tell you often enough how much I like that. And I probably don’t tell you nice things in return enough either.”
Cass looked at him, smiling. “Thank you, K. I know you appreciate me, even if you don’t say it all the time. I know you appreciate how I make you feel from your responses. I love seeing that sexy blush on you.”
Kushiel couldn’t help blushing at being called sexy.
Cass laughed. “See? I know you like it when I say nice things to you. And I’ll keep on saying nice things to you, because I mean every single one of them. You are too good, K, and I know you would literally give me anything I asked for and do anything for me.”
Kushiel nodded his head. “I would. Without question.”
“But that’s just the thing. I love you, K. I don’t want to be just another person who takes from you. I want to be the person who gives back to you. It makes me happy to make you feel good. I feel appreciated every time you blush or smile or give yourself over to pleasure,” Cass explained.
Kushiel didn’t know how to respond to that statement. It was his purpose in life to give of himself. Cass grabbed both his hands, turning to face him on the couch and looking into his eyes.
“You are worth so much, Kushiel. You are all the things I’ve said—bright, beautiful, shining, and giving. You are more than I deserve,” Cass declared.
“No, Cass,” Kushiel cut in. “That’s not true. You’re perfect in every way, and it’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”
Cass laughed. “We could argue about this all day, and maybe that’s why we deserve each other.”
Cass leaned forward to kiss him, and Kushiel lost himself in the warmth and softness of Cass’s lips. When Cass pulled back, he reached up and put a hand on Kushiel’s cheek.
“You know, don’t you?” Cass asked.
Kushiel wasn’t sure what he meant. “That you love me?” he guessed. “I love you, too, Cass, with all that I am. I mean that.”
Cass smoothed his hair back, letting it fall through his fingers and then reaching up to do it again. Kushiel closed his eyes, loving the feel of Cass’s hand running over his head.
“I know you do, K. I know that because I can feel it. Can you feel the ties between us?” Cass murmured.
Kushiel’s eyes shot open. “Ties between us?” he asked.
“Yes, K. I can see ties that bind, like the ones between Mike and Ari,” Cass said.
Kushiel’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. Was Cass saying what Kushiel thought he was saying? He couldn’t help it; tears came to his eyes. He didn’t even know why he was suddenly crying. He was just so completely overwhelmed. He felt like his chest was about to burst open, and he was afraid that he was dreaming.
Cass put his hands on Kushiel’s face, gently wiping away the tears that had fallen.
“I love you, and you love me, and we have an eternity together, K. It’s ok,” Cass reassured him.
Kushiel felt like a fool. Cass was trying to tell him wonderful news and his human probably thought he was sad. He just couldn’t process what Cass was saying.
“Cass, I can’t… Are you sure? Are you really sure? Because I’m just an angel, and only demons have gotten—” Kushiel cut himself off, like speaking the word might jinx it.
Maybe that wasn’t even what Cass meant. Maybe he was misunderstanding this whole conversation. His heart plummeted for a moment, and he felt like he might be physically ill, something he had never before experienced.
“Soulmates,” Cass stated, saying the word before Kushiel could spiral anymore.
“We can’t be,” Kushiel whispered. Then he felt horrible, because he didn’t want Cass to think he didn’t want him. “Not that I don’t want to be, Cass, that isn’t what I mean at all?—”
