“Shhh,” Cass whispered, placing a finger over his mouth. “I know, K. I know you’re overwhelmed. I know because I can feel it, here,” Cass said, taking his hand and pressing it against his own chest.
He then closed his eyes, scrunching up his forehead like he was in thought, his hand still pressed to his chest.
Kushiel felt it then. He laughed wetly, tears coming more freely now, because hefeltCassius. He felt love, warmth, caring, and gentle amusement. He put his hand over Cass’s, and Cass opened his eyes. The feeling faded a tiny bit, but if he concentrated he could still feel it.
“How…” Kushiel said, unsure what he even wanted to ask about.
“It isn’t only demons that have gotten soulmates, although I have seen more of them,” Cass admitted. “I can see the ties between the souls. They were faint for us when they first appeared, and I was afraid to say anything, but they’re strongnow, K. Unbreakable. You are my soulmate. Nothing will ever take you away from me. Nothing,” Cass promised.
“I was afraid to hope for such a thing,” Kushiel admitted. He let go of Cass and reached up to wipe his eyes. “I didn’t think I was worthy.”
Cass leaned forward, kissing him lightly. “Of course you are. I mean all the things I say, K. Maybe you don’t trust how you feel about yourself, but trust what I tell you. Trust what I see. You are the brightest soul I’ve ever seen.”
Kushiel didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know what he felt. It was too good to be true. He was overjoyed, yet he was also sort of waiting for something terrible to happen. He was waiting for the pain and misery that seemed to follow him everywhere. This seemed like it was too perfect to be real.
Cass put his hands on Kushiel’s head and gently eased it down so that Kushiel was laying in his lap. Cass ran his hands through Kushiel’s hair, just letting him process it all.
Cass was his soulmate. Cass was tied to him, and he could see those ties. Cass thought he shone more brightly than any other angel or demon.
Kushiel closed his eyes, and yes, he could feel Cassius. He could feel the love and acceptance. He didn’t know how he could have gray skin and black wings and shine brighter than any other angel, but Kushiel knew that Cassius would never lie to him.
Cass was right. Maybe he had been through too much to trust his own vision of himself. He thought of the fire of hell and the ice of heaven. He thought of the angels who had slowly stopped speaking to him, then turned away whenever he was near. He had known their brotherhood once, long ago, and that had made it so much harder. He thought of the pain he took on himself when he redeemed souls. It had always seemed a small price to pay, but it had still been a price. He had paid for every visit tohell, every act of redemption on some soul’s behalf. Eventually his entire existence had seemed like payment.
Maybe it had been, but if it had given him a soulmate… If it had given him Cassius, who was perfect in every way… Any payment was worth that. He would pay any price to have Cassius be his soulmate.
It was probably selfish, but Kushiel didn’t care for once. He would be selfish, and he would keep Cassius.
He was pulled from his reverie as the engines quieted, and he realized with a start that they must have made it back to the marina.
“You alright, K?” Cass asked gently.
“Yes,” Kushiel replied, sitting up. He leaned his forehead against Cass’s. “I love you, Cassius. I cannot imagine how I could be so blessed as to possibly have you for a soulmate.”
Cass rolled his head against Kushiel’s, laughing a bit. “You still aren’t totally convinced, are you? That’s ok. I understand why it’s hard for you. I know what you’ve been through. But I have faith in these ties. I have enough faith for both of us. And in a few decades, you’ll get it. But don’t begrudge me an I-told-you-so after a century or two has passed,” Cass joked.
Kushiel hadn’t even realized he had said “possibly,” but yes, he supposed he did have a hard time thinking it was real. “Nothing would make me happier, Cassius. You have to know that,” Kushiel insisted, afraid that Cass was hurt by his response.
“Oh, I know, baby. I know. I can feel you, remember? It’ll take some time for you to understand that I’m not going anywhere. That’s ok. We have all the time in the universe, and I’ll use every moment of it to prove to you that I’m here to stay. I will never abandon you, K. I will never turn my back on you. I will be by your side for all eternity,” Cass swore.
Kushiel blinked the wetness from his eyes again. It was like Cass understood him better than he even understood himself. “Ilove you, Cass,” he whispered. It wasn’t adequate, but it was all Kushiel could use to express the love that consumed him for this perfect human.
“I love you, Kushiel,” Cass said, kissing him gently. “Now let’s go so Bob can get home to Patrick. I have a feeling they’ll have a frisky night of reminiscing.”
A laugh burst out of Kushiel. He didn’t doubt that Cass was wrong, and when Bob came out, clapped his hands, and said he couldn’t wait to get home, they both looked at one another and giggled.
Kushiel had never felt so light.
They endedup arriving at Cass’s apartment after dark, and when Cass had insisted they shower off the boat trip, Kushiel had agreed. When Cass had joined him in the shower, Kushiel haddefinitelyagreed, and he hadn’t been able to help himself—he’d needed to taste his human again. The noises Cass made and the beautiful things he said about Kushiel and how good it felt had made Kushiel feel floaty and wonderful.
When Cass had ordered him to touch himself as he sucked on Cass, it had almost been too much pleasure. When Cass groaned and came, the taste of Cass on his tongue and Cass murmuring for him to come too had set Kushiel over the edge. It had been perfect.
They had finished washing each other and then tumbled into bed, and Kushiel had slept wrapped around his human. Wrapped around his soulmate.
He had woken before Cass, and when he had stumbled out of the bedroom dressed and ready to try making breakfast again, Aunt Ro had thankfully been there to direct him. Cass hadwoken up, come to the kitchen, kissed him, and jumped right in to help.
It had been so easy and peaceful. The boat ride home, the evening, and then breakfast had felt like a reprieve from reality, but Kushiel also knew it couldn’t last. He and Cass couldn’t stay in their bubble of happiness forever. There were still lost souls to find.
When they were done eating, Cass had sighed.
