“You won’t. I can’t leave them like this, though. I will not deplete myself entirely. I would never do anything to hurt you, and I know that would. I love you, Cass. You are my soulmate, and I have faith that we will be together forever. I believe in us,” Kushiel said, staring into his soulmate’s eyes.
Kushiel did believe, too. Cassius wouldn’t let anything happen to him, and he wouldn't end his existence, not even for this. If he had to come back a hundred times and be in pain to help the ghosts, he would, because that was part of his job. But he wouldn’t spend himself entirely for his job.
He had Cass to exist for.
“You’ll need to direct them and tell them what to do,” Kushiel whispered.
Cass searched his face, and then his lover nodded reluctantly.
Kushiel wasn’t sure who leaned forward first, but the two of them were kissing frantically, tongues tangling, lips slanting over each other again and again. It was frenzied and sexy and Kushiel was hard and wanting from the kiss, but Cass pulled back first.
“No, this is not some goodbye kiss. You willnotoverextend yourself. You willnothurt yourself. Do you understand me?” Cass demanded.
“I love it when you give me orders,” Kushiel murmured, leaning their heads together. “I will be careful, my love. I promise.”
“Well then,” Aunt Ro interrupted. They both looked over, and she was wearing red roses again on her dress. “As lovely and romantic as this is, I think I best leave. I wouldn’t want to be caught up in whatever magic you two work and end up tied to an oak tree for a few decades or centuries. I’ll see you both later, and I expect all the details. Well, maybe notallthe details, because some things can remain private, but all the details regarding this. And don’t forget that spear, Cassius. It shouldn’t be lying about.”
With that, she vanished. Cassius walked over and collected the spear, and then he came back and grabbed onto Kushiel’s hand.
He breathed out, then he looked at Kushiel. “I love you, and I know you can do this. Whenever you’re ready, K.”
“I love you, too, Cassius,” Kushiel answered.
He looked at the ghosts, and he let a little of his light leak out. They swarmed him, like moths advancing on a lightbulb in the darkness of night, and he gave to each of them, letting his light pour out. Cassius must have been doing something as well, because as the ones closest to him took shape and developed features, they were pulled away to make room for ghosts that were formless and tattered.
Kushiel didn’t know how long it went on. It seemed both an eternity and the blink of an eye. What started as a slow burn became an agony, and yet he worked through the pain, pouring himself into the ghosts. His vision went gray around the edges, and still he poured himself out. He felt like he had given more light than ever before, and yet he knew he was not yet depleted. Eventually he could barely see, barely even process his surroundings, and yet he still knew he would survive. He would see this through, and Cass’s hand in his kept him tethered to reality.
It was only when he felt that hand squeeze his tightly and heard Cass’s voice, as if from a distance, say, “You did it, my love. You can stop now,” that he stopped pouring his light out.
After that, he felt himself sliding into darkness.
Chapter 29
Cassius
Cass didn’t know how long it had taken, but he could feel Kushiel’s pain through their bond. His heart hurt for his angel, and tears slipped from his eyes even as he directed the ghosts into the trees when they became whole.
He watched Kushiel closely, too, yet it seemed like his angel was an unending well of light. When the last ghost had merged with an oak tree and he had told Kushiel to stop, his angel collapsed onto the ground in a heap.
“Kushiel!” he cried out, leaning down and grabbing onto his soulmate.
He was suddenly soangry. He shook the spear in the air, crying out, “Help him!”
He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t to suddenly find himself in a white room. He was still gripping the spear, and Kushiel was still laying on the ground beneath him, but they were definitely not in the forest anymore.
He looked up to see the all white room layered with the same cracks he had seen when he had visited Luce. They were also slowly inching backwards, just like in the black room.
There was suddenly a table and two chairs in the room then, one a blinding white and one a black so deep it seemed to sucklight into it. In the next blink, there was an angel sitting in the chair that he recognized. They were androgynous and glowing brightly, and Cass remembered being visited by them when he was young and training as an oracle. With the next breath, the other chair was filled with the figure of Luce.
Cass turned on him in anger. “This is your fault! Fix him!” Cass demanded, standing and banging the end of the spear against the ground.
“Spunky, isn’t he?” Luce commented, looking over at the angel.
“He always has been,” the angel smiled. “I knew he would be perfect for Kushiel from our first meeting.”
“Yah! You’ve been keeping things from me if you’ve called on this cute little morsel before and didn’t even tell me!” Luce drawled.
Yah? Cass suddenly had an idea that the “angel” he’d been visited by as a child wasn’t merely an angel. He had always glowed so blindingly bright, and Cass was amazed he hadn’t realized things sooner.
