Page 2 of How to Trust a Hellhound
I didn’t try to hold back my crying anymore, and the sobs made it hard to get a deep breath in. He’d left.
He’d left, but he’d be back. And then what?
An apology. Maybe. Maybe flowers and dinner out. Maybe make-up sex, where he gave me “exactly what I wanted.” Although I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore, because it was like nothing I did ever made Rick happy.
Or maybe there would be more yelling until I apologized, if it was really my fault. I couldn’t even tell anymore. Yeah, I knew I wasn’t the easiest person to be with, but I’d had a long day, too, and I just wanted… something. Cuddles, or a kind word, or even a fucking “I love you.” I wanted more than rough sex, no matter how much I might usually like it. I wanted a connection. Closeness.
I’d known Rick was in a bad mood. I’d been able to tell the minute he’d walked into the house. I’d tried to cheer him up. I’d even playfully offered him a cheer-up blowjob, but he’d just rolled his eyes. And okay, yeah, maybe that had hurt my feelings, but nobody likes to be rejected, and he hadn’t even been nice about it.
It took me another few minutes to pull myself together and stop sobbing. I was cradling my wrist, and my face hurt. There were clothes all over the floor, and I wasn’t sure what kind of chaos was waiting for me in the rest of the apartment.
I was just so tired.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I tried and I tried, and it was never enough. I was never enough. Maybe Rick was right and I would never find anyone who would put up with me, but at this point, I thought being alone might be better anyway.
A sob escaped me, then I clamped it down.
I got up and walked into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and then holding my wrist under the faucet. I looked in the mirror, and a gasp escaped me at what I saw.
There were fingerprints on my cheek. I knew my back and arms would be bruised, but Rick had never slapped me before. I laughed wetly. First time for everything, I guessed.
What the fuck did I do now?
My face was a mess, my apartment was a mess, my fucking life was a mess.
Eventually I shut off the water. I wondered vaguely if my wrist was broken. The pain only seemed to be getting worse, and I could see that it was swelling. What did I even do?
I picked up my phone, and then I stared at it. Seb was having a rough week—lots of dead bodies. He’d freak out if he saw me hurt. And Toby, well, Toby would freak out and then get his scary-ass boyfriend to go threaten Rick or something, and that was the last thing I needed. Then he’d definitely be convinced I was having an affair with one or both of them, and I couldn’t deal with that.
I stared at my contact list, and there, right at the top, was the name “Amanda - Work.” Aiden had put that in my phone. Aiden, who had said I could call him if I ever needed to.
I hit the call button.
Aiden didn’t show up alone—he had his big-ass dog with him, Fluffy. I was kind of thankful for that, because I didn’t know when Rick was coming back or what kind of mood he’d be in. Fluffy had a cute name, but he was fucking huge, and he would intimidate anyone, including Rick.
I let them in, and as soon as Aiden saw my face, he gasped and Fluffy growled. I put my hand up to my cheek self-consciously, and then Aiden noticed my swollen wrist.
“Josh,” he just said, and there was so much in that one word—sympathy, understanding, comfort, sadness.
I looked up, blinking and trying not to cry.
“Ok, then. Let’s get what you need packed, and you’re coming to stay with us,” he said matter-of-factly, like he could tell I would break down with any more conversation.
“I can’t impose on you guys,” I said, looking back at them.
“You can, and you will,” Aiden declared.
“No. I’ll get a hotel or something. I can’t stay with you guys,” I reiterated.
Aside from imposing, I thought it would also be awkward. I didn’t even know Aiden that well—I wasn’t even sure why I’d called him, except he’d seemed like he would understand.
Fluffy sort of grumbled a bit then, bumping into Aiden’s leg. Aiden looked down at Fluffy, and he seemed to be thinking. Finally, he said, “We have a spare cabin on the property that’s currently empty. You’ll stay there, not some hotel. And then we’ll be nearby if you need anything.”
I looked at him, and he seemed totally sincere in the offer. I didn’t remember a cabin on the property, but I’d really only been to Toby’s house, and I knew there were other houses in that area that Toby’s boyfriend and his brothers owned.
“Ok,” I finally agreed.
Suddenly I was just so tired. Not like have-a-nap tired, but more a bone deep weariness, like everything was just too much. Like I could just go lay in bed for a few years because I was so exhausted with life. It all seemed like too much.
