Page 26 of How to Trust a Hellhound
“You look good, Josh. I’m glad,” he said.
I figured one of the guys probably told him about Rick, or at least about the break up. Rick and I had come in before, and he had kind of been a dick when we ordered. I hadn’t brought him here again.
I ordered a coffee and some lunch, thinking about just how much Rick had made my life miserable. I hadn’t even realized all the things I’d stopped doing because he didn’t like them, or all the places I didn’t want to take him. Looking back, it was almost like I was waking up from a dream. Or maybe a nightmare.
I took my coffee and lunch over to a table by the window and ate, alternating between looking at emails on my phone and people watching out the window. I heard a chair scrape and looked up to see Aiden sitting down.
“Hey! The ham and cheese croissant is amazing, and you totally outdid yourself with the cranberry brie bites. I haven’t tried the lavender cupcake yet, but after Q’s rant, I couldn’t help buying one,” I laughed.
“Yeah, I heard him from the kitchen,” Aiden admitted. “Cass was out back taking a delivery, or he would have intervened sooner. The cupcake has a very light lavender flavor, and it’s mixed with vanilla and has a cream cheese frosting, so it’s really subtle.”
“I’m sure it’s delicious. You made it, and I don’t think I’ve had anything I didn’t like that you made,” I reassured him.
Aiden beamed at me, and then he got a serious look on his face. “How are you?” he asked.
I knew he was asking about everything that happened, but he was also giving me an out to not talk about it. Aiden was good like that.
“I’m okay, I guess. Still processing, I think. Really glad it’s over, and really unsure why I stayed so long,” I admitted.
Aiden nodded his head. “Sometimes it’s easier not to make a change, even if you’re in a really bad situation. Change is scary, and sometimes what you know seems safer, even if it totally isn’t.”
“Yeah, our brains are funny like that, huh?” I asked. “I keep looking back and kind of wondering what was wrong with me.”
Aiden reached out and patted my hand. It surprised me, but it was nice at the same time. Other than Wilder holding me while I cried, I really hadn’t had much physical contact lately. Another thing that had been wrong in my life that I just hadn’t seen.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Josh. Hindsight lets you see a lot of things, but when you’re in something, you can’t see the whole picture. Give yourself grace.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” I admitted. “I still feel kind of… I don’t know… stupid or something.”
“Don’t. No negative self-talk. Helene would tell you that if you wouldn’t say it to your friends, then you shouldn’t say it to yourself. I’m not sure that advice would work on Q, but you’re really nice to your friends,” Aiden added.
I laughed, just like he meant for me to. He was also right, though. “Helene? She’s your therapist, right?” I asked, voice low.
Aiden smiled at my lowered voice. “It’s okay. I don’t mind everyone knowing about therapy. I think everyone could probably use someone to talk to.”
“Yeah. Maybe I should get her number from you,” I said.
Before I could think twice about it, Aiden pulled out a little pad of paper and a pen from a pocket, jotted something down, and then handed me the paper. “Tell her Aiden recommended you. She’s really fantastic.”
I took the paper and nodded. Aiden smiled and took his leave,heading back into the kitchen. I finished up lunch—the cupcake was light, fluffy, and just the right level of sweet—and headed back to the office. I wasn’t totally sold on making an appointment with Helene, but it was something to consider.
I got back to work, and I was lost in a spreadsheet—this particular business was a hot mess with regards to keeping track of expenses and categorizing anything at all—when my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize, and I figured it was the new client.
“Good afternoon, this is Josh. How can I help you?” I answered.
“Babe! Thank goodness you’re okay!”
I just sat there, frozen. It was Rick’s voice on the line, and he sounded relieved and happy to hear me.
“I’m so sorry, babe. I know you’re upset with me. I was really worried when I couldn’t get a hold of you. I thought something had happened to you.” His voice was vaguely reproachful at the last comment.
“Rick?” I asked stupidly.
“Of course, babe. What happened to you?” he asked.
I took a deep breath. “What happened to me? I had a bruised face and a sprained wrist.”
“Baby, I’m so sorry—I’m not sure how your wrist got sprained, and I know it was wrong to slap you. I was just so upset and hurt by what you said, and I lashed out. You know I don’t normally do anything like that.”
