Page 27 of How to Trust a Hellhound
I made a sound of disbelief.
“It’s not like I ever slapped you before, Josh. Passions were high, and I was worried about us. I was scared of losing you. I love you, babe. You mean the world to me.” Rick sounded so sure and so passionate. I almost wanted to believe him.
Almost.
“Rick.” I sighed. Shit. I didn’t want to have to do this. “I meant what I said. I don’t think we’re good for one another.”
“Baby, how can you say that?” He lowered his voice. “We’re a perfect match, and I’ve missed being with you.”
“We haven’t had sex in ages, Rick. You weren’t interested,” I answered, and I was sure the hurt could be heard in my voice.
“Is that what this is about? Come on home, baby, and I’ll treat you right. We’ll have a marathon in the bedroom, and I’ll make everything up to you. I know exactly what you like,” Rick purred.
I couldn’t believe I had thought that voice was sexy. Now I just felt vaguely ill thinking about being with him.
“Rick, it isn’t about sex. We’re done. We’ve been done,” I said.
“I know you’re mad—” he started.
I cut him off. “It’s not about being mad. Or about being hurt. You hit me, Rick. You talk down to me and make me feel like shit about myself. You hate my friends, and we barely talk or have sex anymore. I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t think you love me. I’d like to think you did once, but I don’t even know. We aredone. There isnothingthat could make me change my mind.”
I was shaking a little, but I had gotten all that out. I should have hung up the phone, but I didn’t.
Rick laughed meanly. “Is this about the assholes that were on the front camera?” he asked, his voice nasty.
“What?” I asked, having no clue what he was talking about.
“I’ll find out who they are. Waving and winking at the camera before taking all your shit. Are you cheating on me?” Rick accused.
“Oh my god, Rick. When would I have been cheating on you?” I demanded. “I hardly ever went out anymore because it wasn’t worth dealing with your shit.”
“Dealing withmyshit? What aboutyourshit, Josh? You’re so fucking dramatic.You hit me, Rick,” he mocked. “I barely fucking tapped you, and you make it like I’m some abusive asshole. You make everything such a big fucking deal.”
I blinked, my eyes getting watery. I was not going to let him hear me cry. I was not going to give him the satisfaction.
“Then you have some assholes move your stuff out of our place without even a fucking word,” he ranted.
“I sent a text,” I started, but he cut me off.
“I sent a text,” he mocked. “Do you even fucking hear yourself? We’ve spent years together, and you think sending a fucking text is a good way to deal with our relationship? What the fuck, Josh? How heartless and cruel are you? Do you have no feelings at all?”
“I—” I started, not even sure what I was going to say.
“No, because you’re selfish, only thinking about yourself. It’s always what you need, what you want, how you feel. You leave me without a word because we had one little argument, and you don’t even have the decency to talk it out with me,” Rick continued.
“Because there is no talking with you!” I yelled. Ineveryelled, and it surprised Rick into silence. “This is what talking to you is. You berating me. You ranting about all my faults. I’mdone, Rick. It’sover. And part of it being over means I don’t have to listen to you anymore. Don’t call me again. Don’t come looking for me. I have proof of the bruises, and I’ll get a restraining order. Leave me alone, and get on with your life.”
He started to answer, but I hung up the phone, going into settings and blocking the number he’d called from before he could call back.
I was done. I would get a new phone number. I would do whatever I needed to. I didn’t have to deal with him anymore. I wouldn’t deal with him anymore.
Barb stuck her head into my office. “You okay, honey?”
I nodded my head, my lips pursed.
“Oh, hon—why don’t you take the rest of the day off? It’s late afternoon anyway. Head home,” she said.
“The new client,” I said halfheartedly. I really was done for the day, but I didn’t want to let her down.
