Page 35 of How to Trust a Hellhound
I was going to continue and start listing my positive traits, because I had plenty to offer Josh. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight, but he walked over and kissed me, his hands running through my hair. I couldn’t help hauling him forward until he was standing between my legs.
The taste of Josh swept some of my worries away, and I growled low in my throat. He quickly let me take over the kiss, and I sensed a submissive streak in Josh. I nipped at his lip, and he groaned.
“Damnit,” he muttered, pulling back.
He was right. “Yes. We need to talk,” I reiterated before we could get lost in the physical again.
He glared at me, a little of his fire coming back. “Will you stop saying that! You can’t kiss me like that and then say that!”
I was utterly perplexed. I couldn’t say we should talk? “Do you not enjoy talking during intimate moments?” I asked. There were some people who liked silence when they were having sex, although I wasn’t one of them.
Josh stepped away and rolled his eyes. “We aren’t having sex. We’re ‘talking.’”
“I like talking to you, Mei Ume. I’d like to talk to you during sex, too. I think you would enjoy that,” I murmured.
Josh huffed out a groan. “So what do we need to talk about? I already said I’m not going to do a one night stand, and I don’t want to be some secret from your kids. I just… I can’t do that.”
“Mei Ume,” I said, standing up and pulling him into a hug. He leaned against me, even though I could sense his confusion and a bit of hurt. I wasn’t sure how I had caused him to hurt, but I needed to fix it. “I don’t want to have one night with you. I want many nights with you. And I wouldn’t keep you secret from the boys. They already know I’m interested in you.”
“They what?” Josh asked, trying to pull back.
I didn’t let him go. He was getting into a panic for some reason that I didn’t understand, and we would work through this.
“They know I’m interested in you. I’m sorry Jude was teasing, and I can speak to him about it?—”
Josh cut in. “Jude’s an idiot.” He pulled out of the hug, looking at me in horror. “I’m sorry! I know he’s your son, and he’s great, but…”
“But he’s a bit of an idiot,” I agreed, smiling.
Josh huffed a laugh, then he leaned back into me. I wrapped my arms around him.
“Why the breakup talk, then? Not that we’re dating or anything,” Josh hastily added.
“Breakup talk?” I asked. “Josh, I would like to date you. I care about you, and I’m attracted to you, and I don’t want to hide you from the boys. I don’t want you uncomfortable, either, so if you’d rather not discuss it with the boys, I can tell them not to mention it or tease.”
“But you said we had to talk,” Josh mumbled into my shirt. “You stopped kissing me so we could talk.”
“Well, yes, you’ve had a lot happen today, and I don’t want to take advantage of you,” I began.
“Please take advantage,” he murmured under his breath, but of course I heard him.
I smiled and continued. “I thought communication was important when starting a relationship, and we do need to talk about me and the boys. I don’t think you’re really aware of… everything. I want you to have all the information before we become physical with one another.”
I let Josh process that. He didn’t let go of me, and I gently rubbed his back.
“Does this have to do with what Toby is always talking about?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” I answered. Perhaps Josh wasn’t as unaware as I assumed he was.
“He isn’t making it all up?” he asked.
“No, he isn’t,” I gently replied.
“But you don’t…” He paused, clearly thinking. “Your work doesn’t harm innocent people, right?”
I thought his choice of calling it work was interesting, but I supposed it fit. It was our job, after all, and perhaps that made Josh more comfortable. “No, we’d never harm anyone innocent. We work for the greater good.”
He nodded his head. “Sort of like the military, I guess. Is that how you ended up all becoming a family? You were all in the same line of work? I guess you sensed the… umm, the necessary skills in the boys as teenagers?”
