Page 36 of How to Trust a Hellhound
“Yes,” I answered. Josh was obviously more comfortable talking around us being hellhounds, and that was okay. I didn’t need to hit him over the head with it.
Josh pulled back, his face horrified. “Oh my god. Jude really is going to get himself arrested! He can’t be messing with the sheriff like that when you guys do that kind of work.” He paused, adding, “Although I’m guessing it’s sanctioned or something from some of what Toby has hinted, and if it came down to it, maybe he wouldn’t end up in jail because higher powers would intercede?”
I nodded. “Yes, exactly. We’re all perfectly safe. There’s no concern there. Although Jude is a bit ridiculous with the sheriff. He isn’t always comfortable showing his feelings, which is probably why he’s acting the way he is.”
Josh nodded his head, pressing back against me. “So now what?” he asked.
“Well, now we either start a relationship or you tell me to get lost,” I joked. I ignored the nerves in my stomach. IknewJosh was interested, but I was still nervous. It was an entirely new sensation for me.
“Yes,” he said.
That was all, and then he leaned up to kiss me, the warm softness of his lips pressing against mine. I was so tempted to take the kiss deeper and further, but I kept it gentle and light, and Josh followed my lead. When I pulled back the slightest bit, he leaned down and pressed his head against my chest.
I kissed the top of his head, wrapping him in my arms.
“Do you want…” he asked, but he trailed off, waiting for me to fill in what exactly I might want. My Mei Ume had a giving nature, and he was clearly looking at me to take the lead.
“I want us to cuddle on the couch, watch one of the documentaries that you like so much, and talk to each other,” I answered.
Josh breathed out, but he didn’t protest. He’d dealt with a lot of emotions today, and although sex might be a good release for those emotions, I needed to know more about what he wanted.
We moved together and settled on the couch. I sat down and pulled Josh up against me. He lifted his legs, laying across the couch, and snuggled into my chest.
“I missed this,” he murmured. “Cuddling, I mean. I can’t even remember the last time I was just held. When I wasn’t crying, that is,” he joked, looking up at me and smiling.
“You can always cry with me, Mei Ume,” I answered.
He laughed a bit, then tucked his head back into my chest. We were silent for a few moments, but he made no motion to grab the television remote.
“I think I might go see Aiden’s therapist,” he said quietly.
I hummed in agreement. “Aiden likes her very much, and if you would feel comfortable doing that, then I agree. You can always tell me anything, too, although I certainly don’t have the same expertise as her.” She was, after all, a fury, and I was a hellhound. I didn’t add that, though, since I wasn’t sure Josh was up for the full afterlifer explanation.
“I just… I feel stupid for what happened with Rick. But I’m also so angry at the same time.”
I hugged Josh tighter. “You arenotstupid, and I do not want to hear you call yourself that. You’re strong, brave, and resilient. You have a giving nature. You want to please others and take care of them. Rick took advantage of that, and your goodness kept you from seeing what he was doing.”
Josh snorted, and I could tell he didn’t agree.
I squeezed him tightly for a moment, adding, “Hey, no disagreeing over your good nature.”
“It isn’t that.” He sighed. “I mean, maybe I do have a giving nature or whatever, but that isn’t what attracted me to Rick.”
“What attracted you to him?”
Josh seemed uncomfortable, and he shifted in my grip a bit. I pulled him tight again, and that seemed to settle him. I made a mental note that he seemed to enjoy being held tightly.
“We, uhh… Rick was into… Well…” Josh seemed unable to get out his thoughts.
“The stuff under your bed?” I asked.
Josh burrowed into my chest even more, and I could smell his embarrassment.
“Oh my god, you saw that stuff?” he asked.
“Did you enjoy the toys? Or was that something Rick enjoyed that you just went along with?” I asked.
The distinction was important, and I needed to know. I wanted nothing more than to give Josh whatever pleasure I could, and I wanted to know what he liked.
