Page 49 of How to Trust a Hellhound
“Ugh…” Shit. I knew I was turning red, because I didn’t really talk about sex.
Toby kept going. “Yep! A knot! You thought it was some new dildo for research purposes, and I totally did use it for research purposes, and my sex scenes have gotten a million times hotter since I got together with Dexter, but of course I’m not just using him for his knot or tail or the fantastic sex.”
“Tail?” I murmured, feeling a little dazed.
“Mmmhmmm. And it’s totally sexy. Not like a furry dog tail, but like a demon tail, apparently? Think like tentacle sex, only tail sex, although maybe you haven’t read much tentacle porn. Which you should totally do, because tentacles arehot. Of course, I’m not complaining that Dexter doesn’t have tentacles, because knots and tails are even hotter. And don’t worry about the whole torture basement thing, either.”
“Torture basement?” I asked, not really wanting an answer.
I looked longingly at the bedroom. Could I still be dreaming? Could I go back in there and put the covers over my head?
Toby didn’t seem to notice my distress, adding, “Well, plural, I guess, because there are multiple torture basements, but there’s not one in my house, don’t worry, and I’m sure there isn’t one in the cabin, either, because I don’t see a foundation that could have a basement, unless they hid it somehow. Oh, maybe they did. I’ll have to ask. That would be so cool if you had a secret torture chamber in the cabin!”
Thank god, Wilder walked in at that moment. If he’d knocked, I hadn’t heard, and it kind of made me feel warm to think we were close enough that he’d just walk in. It was their cabin, of course, but all the other guys knocked.
I just looked towards him with an imploring expression.
“Toby, there’s no secret torture chamber beneath the cabin,” he answered, placing a coffee holder with two cups and a bag on the counter.
“Aww, bummer. I think it would make a great plot idea, though,” he said, and he started looking around. I knew where this was headed, and I was not giving Toby a pen and paper, because then he’d never leave. I had work, and I really wanted to have breakfast with Wilder.
“It’s okay, you can go jot down notes. We’ll catch up later,” I told him.
He looked at me. “You sure?”
“Totally. I promise. After work. I still do have work today,” I added.
“Oh, yeah! Of course! I have to write a chapter as well, and now I’m thinking about a hidden torture chamber. Maybe underground, maybe not. I wonder how hard it would be to add one to an already existing structure?” Toby muttered, half talking to himself.
“Ask Dexter. He’s done construction. He’ll be able to help,” Wilder told him. He looked amused by the whole exchange.
Toby left with a distracted wave, still sort of muttering about construction. Wilder looked after him fondly, like he was staring at a little kid who’d just done something cute. Then he turned to me, and his expression changed to one of concern.
“I’m okay,” I answered, even though he hadn’t asked.
He came over and kissed me, and I opened my mouth to him without thinking. He wrapped his arms around me, and I just grabbed on as he led the kiss. His mouth was firm and demanding, and I knew I was making little moaning noises, but I didn’t care. He bit my bottom lip, and the sting had my dick jerking. He gentled the kiss after that, though, eventually just wrapping me in his arms and holding me tight while I leaned against him.
As much as my dick might’ve been on board, now was not the time for sex. I hoped maybe later, but I had work soon, and there was still all that other… stuff. Which I was trying really hard not to think about, but of course Toby had shattered the hope that it had all been some kind of crazy dream.
Wilder hugged me tighter, as if he sensed my distress. How could someone’s arms already feel so comfortable? So much like home? I didn’t want to think about Rick any more, but he popped into my head, and I realized we rarely ever hugged.
“What are you thinking, Mei Ume?” Wilder asked.
“Rick and I never really hugged or cuddled,” I said.
I cringed a bit. Wilder was my new boyfriend, and it was a new relationship—hello, you did not bring up your ex and talk about him. I wanted to smack myself in the head, but Wilder just squeezed me again.
“That’s Rick’s loss, then, because you’re perfect to hug.” Wilder paused, then he added, “You know that none of that is your fault, right?”
I sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m going to see Aiden’s therapist—did Itell you that? I already talked to her, and she seems really nice. I promise I won’t always be thinking about what happened, and I’ll try not to bring it up.”
Wilder pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “Mei Ume, you bring up whatever you need to as often as you need to. I don’t mind when you talk about what happened. You’re working through all of it, and I would rather you talk to me than keep it bottled up. I want to know everything that you’re thinking, okay?”
I shrugged, and Wilder kissed my forehead.
“I mean it. Everything that you’re thinking.” He looked into my eyes again, giving me a moment. Then he added, “Do you want to talk about?—”
“Nope,” I cut in.
