Page 24 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
I had not prepared for the granite set of doors behind those. A cry of outrage shattered the silence, my screams that of a caged animal. And that was what I was now. What I had always been.
Tears streamed down my face when my fist hit the granite, making no noticeable dent. Again and again I tried and failed to break through it, throwing my entire body into them to no avail. Pain was a reminder that I was real, that I was here, that I was aware. They could tell me all the lies they wished, but I was smarter than that.
Heaving deep breaths, I turned from the doors and began desperately ripping off the gold silk from my body. When I was completely bare, I ran to the bathing chambers and slammed the door behind me. That was fine. I was out of the dungeons, so I had a better chance of escape.
Unwilling to think of any other outcome, I nodded and quickly walked to the large tub that had been mine for so long. Now it felt foreign, like it belonged to another being altogether. Still, it was a refuge of sorts as I crawled in it and curled into a ball on the dry bottom.
“It was real,” I whispered into the void.
Yes, it had all been real. I just needed to remind myself. To repeat. To remember.
“Bellamy took me from my wedding,” I began. “He took me and saved me. I found a family. A real family. Noe, Henry, Ranbir, Lian, Cyprus, Winona, Pino, Damon, and Luca. We traveled from Haven to Dunamis. We trained and I fell in love. Bellamy loved me—loves me. We battled and lost, we suffered but we lived. Bellamy told me stories and held me. He kissed melike I was a blessing rather than a curse. I knew not of loneliness because I had them. Wrath, I had Wrath.”
“Did you, Strange One?”
The haunting gravely voice was like a leaf in the wind, slowly falling to my ears. Gasping, I turned to my right, finding Wrath there. He was in his smaller form, the size of a dog. His gray fur was silky and intact, his throat whole. The dalistori looked just as he had before my world came crashing down.
“Wrath? What—what are—I do not—”
“Cat got your tongue, Asher?” he asked, licking a paw as he did. His yellow eyes never left mine though.
“You died,” I croaked out. My sweet Wrathy, gone forever. But no, he was here now. How was he here? Had Padon sent him back to me? Had he shown me mercy?
“Or perhaps I never existed at all.” As he spoke, the dalistori jumped down into the tub, laying in a ball just as I was. “Maybe you dreamt of something better after a lifetime of worse than one can imagine. It would make sense. How else would your hair and body and world be just as you had left it all those months ago?”
I balked at him, baffled by such a theory. No. I was not insane. I had not imagined nearly an entire year of my life. How could I? Why would I?
“Oh please, I am not that creative.” My whispered sarcasm was a weak version of what I had once been, and I realized for the first time since awaking that my voice was hoarse. As if it had not been used in a long while.
“You have always dreamed of better, you just did not have the means to allow yourself to live in those dreams. A magical coma seems like the perfect time to fall victim to such madness. It would make sense for someone like you. The balance to a being with magic that takes from the mind would be…” he trailedoff, his fluffy tail swishing back and forth as he watched me curiously.
“Would be what, exactly?”
“Losing your own.”
With that, Wrath disappeared.
***
“Bellamy saved me. He taught me to love. Mia stole that love. I was freed and then imprisoned. Cherished and then tortured. I know what is real.” My sort of mantra were the only words I had said since Wrath left me yesterday. “I know what is real.”
Every inch of my skin was pebbled from the cold of my bathtub, but I refused to move. A dinner plate had been left on the table beside my tub by Maybel, who had gushed over finally seeing me awake after so long, only to shriek when she realized I was naked in the bath. I could not bring myself to regret shoving her when she reached down for me or screaming at her to leave me alone.
No one had come for breakfast.
All the best. I needed to ground myself. To remember what they willed me to forget. Not eat more poison.
A knock on my bathing chamber door startled me out of my thoughts. So much for alone time to ground myself.
“Ash,” Xavier’s voice rang from beyond the door. Not him, anyone but him.
“Be gentle with her, Xavier. She is confused,” Mia chided. Okay, anyone butthem.
“Asher, please, we just want to talk to you. We worry that you are not well. That magic, the burst of darkness, it hit you right in the chest. Perhaps whatever it did to keep you asleep is also muddying up your mind.” Mia’s soft and gentle tone was anything but welcome. It was all a lie. They meant to keep mehere, to once more make me docile. To retrain me like a prized pet that had an outburst and needed a lesson. But I could no longer be tamed.
Bellamy was real. Bellamy loved me.
“Ash?” Xavier asked with concern.
