Page 58 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
What side is that?
I quirked a brow, sitting forward slightly.
The side of those who have no say in this war.
***
Xavier found me sitting with my head tilted back against the wood of the ship not long after I left Perdita’s quarters. I felt in my gut that I had lied when I promised I was on her side. Had I not killed more innocents than I had protected recently? Still, I wanted to be that for them. A ruler that cared enough to fight for her subjects.
Perhaps I could learn, at least.
I heard and felt Xavier sit beside me, but my eyes remained closed. I did not want to speak to him or anyone, though I doubted he cared about that. I was proven right when he cleared his throat not once, not twice, but three times.
“Suffering from a cold, Your Majesty?” I asked, still keeping my eyes shut.
“Nothing these chocolate muffins cannot fix,” he responded. My eyes instantly flew open, finding the sight of two gigantic chocolate muffins on a plate that dripped what smelled like fudge. Narrowing my gaze, I glared his way.
“What is the catch?” I asked, knowing better than to think anything I was offered by him was free.
“Just conversation,” he answered with a shrug, waving the plate near my face before setting it between us and grabbing one.
He was bribing me with food.
I was embarrassed to admit it was working.
“Fine, but I do not promise to be nice.” With that, I snatched the muffin he was lifting towards his mouth, not trusting that the other was free of poison. He chuckled, shaking his head and wrapping his fingers around the other.
I wasted no time biting into it, the flavor bursting on my tongue and settling my aching stomach. Xavier remained silent for the span of one bite before he capitalized on my euphoria.
“You know, Mia used to love these.” Of course this would turn into a conversation about her. What a cohesive, united front they were presenting. I did nothing but chew, not taking the bait. “When we first officially met, she was sneaking one from the table at her introductory ball. She had worn head-to-toe gold, her dress like a rose in full bloom with layers upon layers of petals. No female had ever been as beautiful as she was in that moment. And when I tapped on her shoulder, she did not so much as look at me before telling me to go away.”
I could not stop myself from snorting at the thought. Maybe Mia had once been tolerable.
“Yes, it was funny to me too. The Mounbetton princess was known for her grace, her sophistication. Hearing her tell me to shut up with a mouth full of chocolate had been both jarring and refreshing. But Mia was half your age and just as strong-willed, and for that, she would suffer,” he said with more sadness in his tone than I had expected.
I straightened, my muffin momentarily forgotten as he continued his story.
“Mia comes from a long line of very strong females—queens. She was raised to be the same. To be more than she could ever possibly be. That was what was expected of her. She needed to be the most cunning, beautiful, and formidable being in every room she entered. Mistakes were not acceptable, and neither was imperfection. It made for a cold life. But she loved herparents, her mother most of all. And when her mother chosemeof all her suitors that night, Mia eagerly accepted my proposal. After ignoring me completely out of disinterest, she suddenly found herself engaged to me. All because she lived to please her mother.”
“That sounds miserable. One might expect that she would have chosen a different path when it came to raising a daughter of sorts,” I huffed, taking another bite of my muffin. I did not feel sorry for Mia, not when she had made the conscious choice to inflict the same pain upon me. We all had the choice to change—to be better. She chose the opposite, and for that, she deserved my wrath.
As if the emotion summoned him, Wrath’s weight suddenly bore down on my thighs. He laid there, curled up and watching me with his tail swishing, as Xavier set his muffin down and dusted off his hands.
“You know what else I remember? Holding you for the first time. Mia had hogged you, refusing to share. But I waited, and eventually you were in my arms. You were big, your rolls sporting rolls and your chins trapping drool.” I elbowed him, a chuckle slipping from my lips. He returned the amusement, rubbing his bicep where I hit him before continuing. “You were still cute though. And, Eternity above, you were so captivating. Back then, your power had not awoken, but you still seemed to steal the love and adoration of all who met you. I was not immune in the slightest; in fact, I called you my little princess even then. Your parents laughed it off, but we all knew you would one day be a princess. You were promised to our son, and everything was so perfect. I miss those days.”
Nostalgia left him sighing in serenity, but all I could do was think of how awful it had all turned out. How wicked that love for me would become. Maybe if I had been born with no power at all they would have been kinder. Or maybe they would not havecared for me at all. I would have been useless. So wonderfully useless.
What a dream.
“I am sorry we loved you wrong, Ash. But we did—do—love you. You will be an incredible queen.” I did not respond, even when his voice grew hoarse from whatever emotion flooded him. After a few minutes of silence, Xavier stood. “We will arrive any second. I am eager to show you where I grew up. Maybe we can even stir up trouble just like I once did.”
He walked away then, his smile soft and sad and so very sincere. I wished he would torture me instead. Anything other than make my heart ache with remembered fondness. With feelings of love that I had buried.
“You will regret not accepting their affection when you are left alone and broken, Strange One,” Wrath said.
I had no time to respond before one of the crew members shouted, “Welcome to Isle Element, Your Majesties!”
Standing, I was met with the sight of the isle. Like Isle Shifter, trees littered the beach and cliffs before us, but this kind of green was invasive and beautiful in the same way a rainforest at the height of fall would be. Driftwood sat lazily on the white sand, hills covered in greenery rolling beyond.
