Page 23 of Above
Salty water shoved into my mouth, my body being thrown around like a loose shell. I knew better than to fight the current, even if I had never been lucky enough to see the sea or even a lake. Reading was enough. It always was.
Don’t scream. Don’t fight. Protect your head. Dive under the waves. Flow with the current.
Easier said than done, apparently. Every time I thought I was going low enough, the wave proved me wrong and barreled into my back. I screamed without meaning to, and even more water rushed down my throat, burning and making my head feel like it might explode. My energy depleted quickly as I tried to swim without truly understanding the concept of it. Anxiety swarmed me, the same little beast that had always plagued my mind.
With no other option, I tried to shadow walk again.
So much for intention and focus.
This time, I landed on solid ground, my hands and knees slamming into dense sand as I immediately began vomiting up the water. Hot tears poured down my cheeks from the burning in my chest and throat. My fingers dug into the sand, wishing I could have at least done this right. Now I would have to walk into the academy with soaked clothes and bloodshot eyes.
Celeste would loathe my choice to care only of what others thought when I was still struggling to breathe. She would hate everything about this. Laughter stole my thoughts, my headflinging up so fast that I grew dizzy. Through the black spots in my vision, I could just make out hair the color of the moon. He approached, clapping as he walked and squatting down when he reached me.
“Tell me, little akhata, do you know your place?” he asked, not even considering if I was okay before beginning the verbal sparring.
I would question why he was doing this when he didn’t even know me, but that would be a waste of my very valuable, very limited breaths. Azazel Altair hated me for the same reason all the purity obsessed shaytan did. I was a direct threat to their way of life. To their rule and power.
Because I knew better than to let him win, I forced air into my lungs and willed myself to stand. Both my legs and my arms shook violently, but I was able to straighten my body. While my eyes still struggled to fully see Altair, I knew the general area his eyes should have been. So that was where I stared as I raised my chin and crossed my arms.
“I am quite comfortable in my place. But I think you will be surprised when you realize yours is below me.” Stars, that sounded vulgar. Great.
“Overconfident, I see.” His chuckles were nearly full laughs now, as if this moment were the peak of comedy to him. “Eadi always prove themselves to be the most idiotic creatures.”
“I am not eadi!” I shouted as I placed my hands in the direction of his chest and attempted to shove him. All that really did was make me lose my balance. He pivoted out of my way just as I once again fell to the ground.
Calm down, Nova. Don’t let him see you like this.
“What’s wrong with being eadi? Isn’t it usually your kind who love to argue that eadi aren’t savage beasts who can’t spell? Aren’t your parents eadi? Wouldn’t want them to hear you soundso appalled at the thought of being compared to them, now would we?”
The mocking edge to his tone was enough to clear some of the fog from my brain. He wanted a fight? I’d give him one.
“Fine, Altair. Maybe I am a mistake. But you want to know who else clearly was? Your father.” At that, his breaths hitched, only the sound of the waves filling the space in the absence of his mocking. A smile split my face in two, releasing all the animosity from within my heart. I pushed myself not up, but back, letting my legs fold and my head tilt back. He looked furious. His pale skin was ashy in the light, his eyes wide and brow furrowed. “Maybe that’s why you are so intent on hating me when you’ve only just met me. Because you know that if I’m a mistake the stars were willing to make twice, then their choice to take their essence from your family means you’re something far worse.”
We stared off, my teeth bared and his fists scrunched. Fury was the only thing we truly had in common. Unfortunately for him, I had far more.
“A regret,” I finished, finally pushing myself to stand. I was sure to hit his arm with my shoulder as I passed, knowing I would pay for my words later but not caring. “You know what they say about regrets, right Altair?” I looked over my shoulder, the black spots finally fading fully. In the morning light, Altair looked almost like a ghost clad in black. A fallen warrior intent on haunting his successors. “They teach lessons that stop you from making the same mistake twice. Too bad for you. Maybe the stars will choose a better, more deserving family this time.”
Chapter Twelve
Nova
“I had sex tonight for the first time since my magic ritual. He said he thought sleeping with a shaytan would be more special—more exciting. Despite that, I didn’t mean to hit him. I really didn’t. I just lost control.”
-From the journal of Nova Tershetta, 9257 AS
As expected, everyone snickered and pointed when I finally found the gate that led to the base, shivering and soaked.
I wasn’t sure how Altair had found me before, seeing as I had landed on the south part of the island and the entrance was on the northern end. By the time night had nearly fallen and I caught sight of the gate, Altair was already beyond. Surrounding him were Otarn, Elders, Dofrel, and the she Zade.
Where was Talon? Had he not made it?
Not that it mattered, but it would be interesting if a core family had to mourn a son. As far as I knew, no core family ever lost someone during a shadow ritual or elite training. Theyalwayssucceeded.
I walked forward, the towering black spikes of the gate shuddering as I approached. Then, as if it could sense the shadows that writhed and burned inside of me, it parted,allowing me entrance. Though some still chuckled, many silenced themselves as I walked in.
That’s right, I made it. I succeeded. No different than any of you.
The group was noticeably smaller than before, others either not back yet or perhaps even dead. Little time was left now, so I imagined few people would stumble in after me.
