Page 40 of Above
“Afterall, Talon is always inside there, right? Insideyou.Clearly something interesting must be hiding beneath all of this.” He let my curl go, watching with a smirk as it bounced back up.
While I often worked hard to be levelheaded, I found myself losing all sense of terror as I moved my hand to smack him. He caught me by the wrist, his free hand latching onto my throat and pulling me closer. So close I could smell whiskey on his breath, our lips and noses mere inches away.
“You won’t be catching me by surprise again. I see you for what you are, akhata. Whatever you think you’re offering Talon, just know it will never make you good enough to be a shaytan, let alone an elite.”
Though my head was throbbing and my stomach turning, I still reared back and spit in his face, not caring that it would inevitably lead to more pain.
And oh did it. Furious at my audacity, Altair kicked in the back of my legs, causing me to crumple. His knee was ready, caching my chest as I fell. I cried out, but it was no use. Who would save me now? Certainly not myself. Every dream I once had about being the hero of my own story was proven impossible as Altair shoved me back and straddled me, his grip on my neck tightening.
“Death is a precious gift for people like you when enslavement and pain is all life will soon offer. You should be thanking me for doing the stars’ bidding.” His eyes were bulging, much like mine probably were. But just as I began to feel what had to be my lungs exploding, his hold loosened. I wasn’t offered any time to question his allegiance to the core values before he was squeezing my cheeks with his fingers, forcing my eyes to lock on his as he got closer to my face. “But I won’t be killing you tonight, Little Void. Not when so much is yet to come.”
The door slammed open, Altair’s smile widening. I had just enough energy to turn my head and see Zade there, magic swirling around him like a fallen star, his amber eyes nearly black.
“Fun’s over, I guess,” Altair whispered against my ear.
Chapter Nineteen
Nova
“My favorite quote from The Tale of an Eadi Princess is, ‘Justice is often viewed as subjective, for we all seek different ends and outcomes. In reality, justice is one objective truth: the fair and ethical treatment of all.’ I wish I could tell the kids at school about it, but Mama says the book is a secret, because they banned it thousands of years ago. What kind of monsters banned books, I’ll never know. Oh wait, I do know. The core families, of course.”
-From the journal of Nova Tershetta, 9240 AS
Talon moved me into his room that morning, our training postponed in favor of healing me. Once I was deemed “good enough,” the arguing began.
“I’ll kill them all, I fucking swear.” Relentlessly, he paced in front of where I sat on his bed, hands behind his back and brows pinched. I had stopped attempting to talk him down ten minutes before, but I was still adamantly against any retaliation at the moment, especially with my head pounding and my thoughts too loud.
Why had they done it? What would my death do for them? Of course, my presence alone was antagonistic, but they hadn’t tried anything before. Could it have been because of Talon? HadDove done it to stop her brother from further angering their parents? Was Priya in love with him and didn’t want me around? Or was it something deeper?
Pragmatism evaded me as I considered another option.
Maybe Zade and Otarn had attacked me because they saw me as a threat. Hadn’t I just been considering the benefit of the black phase putting our class of trainees on the same level?
“You’re not killing your sister, Talon.” All pacing ceased at once, his body seeming to sink in on itself. Then he turned toward me and crumpled at my feet. First, his face landed on my lap, which was followed closely by the cold sensation of his hands on my arms. Being touched so soon after being assaulted made my skin crawl, but who was I to deny him anything after he saved me?
“I would do it for you, Nova,” he mumbled into my thigh, his body vibrating as his left leg began to shake.
I was no stranger to pleasure and what one would do for it, but I couldn’t deny that every decision Talon made confused me. He didn’t act as if that was all he wanted. Any other man would have slid his hand lower. They would demand payment for their generosity. At the least, a normal person would expect reciprocated feelings. Which begged the question. What did he stand to gain with all of this?
“She’s your blood. Your family. Thinking like you are doesn’t help anyone, especially you. What would your parents say? Or the rest of the core families?” Tightly, I held his chin, forcing him to look into my eyes, though the action felt wrong after what Altair had done to me. “Most importantly, you’d never be able to live with yourself. Vengeance means nothing in the face of loss.”
Plus, I didn’t want to be the reason he did something like that. The payment for such a thing had to be higher than I could afford—maybe even more than I was willing to give.
Slowly, almost as if a great weight held him down, Talon lifted his head, his amber eyes meeting mine. A sizzle of magic kissed my skin as his palm pressed to my cheek. Of all people in this wretched place, he was the only I could trust, but still I flinched at his touch. I became increasingly aware of the difference between eadi and shaytan—between those raised to survive and those bred to kill.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, Supernova.” A hush overtook his voice, like the loudness he had previously showcased had stolen all the volume he possessed. “I am determined to get you to the finish line. All I ask is that you let me stay at your side.”
Talon didn’t lean in. Didn’t move his hand to my breast. Wasn’t begging for my submission. He just wanted my nearness. That, of all things, I could give him.
“Okay.”
Apparently I was sentenced to the room, because Talon went out of his way to provide me with both parchment and graphite for writing letters home while he went and collected our breakfast. In his words, “You’re far too busy to go eat in the dining hall.”
Please.
Still, I appreciated the alone time. Not only because I was fairly sure I had somehow agreed to being in a relationship with the core, but also so that I could once again do a heinous, awful thing.
My head smacked into the bed as my crawling momentarily ceased. Stars, that fucking hurt. Finding this journal had beendifficult the first time, but now, as I was still somewhat disoriented and undeniably exhausted, it was nearly impossible.
