Page 53 of Above
Talon shuffled in his bed, the sound of the wood creaking catching my attention. Soles of bare feet hit the floor.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
And then I felt my bed sink under the weight of another body.
“Hey, Supernova,” he whispered as he settled beneath my blankets, the warmth of his breath sending tingling bugs scurrying beneath my skin, inching so close to my chest I thought they might eat my heart. His arm slowly encircled my waist, my face pointing down and his pointing my way. Bugs crawling and burrowing.
I wished he’d stop.
I wished I’d tell him to.
I let him anyways.
I owed him so much. Everything. Anything. A debt unpaid was terrifying like that.
“Want to tell me what’s on your mind? I noticed you haven’t been sneaking away at night as much.” Was he closer now? Yes, he must have been, because I could feel his thighs against mine, his nose brushing against my hair.
What to tell him was the question. He had never outright asked where I was going since the first time he helped me. Never had I felt the need to explain. Excuses and lies bubbled and burst inside my head, screaming answers at me that I couldn’t manage to speak aloud. So I went with the truth.
“I’ve been trying to find a way to give my family magic,” I mumbled, waiting for a response. When none came, I rambled on. “Just bits of mine, or maybe something to extend their lives to the length of my own. Preferably the former though. I’ve been experimenting on different formulas for an elixir, but I’m struggling to extract the magic from myself. It seems that only forbidden magic will do the trick, and—”
“Forbidden magic?” Talon gasped, rearing back. Something inside of me revelled in the absence of his nearness. “Nova, you have to be kidding. Giving them magic? That’s blasphemous! It goes against everything we believe. Everything we are. You’re practically spitting on the stars!”
“I’m not,” I hissed, anger burning the bugs as it boiled my blood.
“They are the ones that decide who gets magic and who doesn’t. They’re the almighty darkness above. How could you even think to do something like that?” He was angry too, I could tell by the way he nearly growled the vitriol. “Besides, they would never make that possible. Not when it’s what ensures our cooperation in maintaining their entertainment.”
“Oh, please! Have you ever once considered that we are capable of more and the stars are just waiting for us to realize? Or maybe they choose wrong and hope that someone will be smart enough to correct their error? Not everything is so black and white.” I sat up, uninterested in being comfortable as we fought. Talon followed suit, equally furious, but for all the wrong reasons.
“You just need to accept that your parents and sister weren’t worthy of magic. That the stars know better. You spend too much time worrying about them and not nearly enough time focusing on yourself.”
“For your information,” I seethed, pointing my finger toward him, the light he had crafted flickering like a candle as his emotions got the best of him, sending long shadows across the walls. “My parents didn’t get the chance to even ask for magic on their twenty-fifth birthdays.”
He only scoffed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes like a petulant child who wasn’t getting their way. But I wasn’t having it. Not today, when Dad was finally on the mend.
“Do you know how lucky you have to be to have the time to travel across the stars-forsaken continent? Do you know how wealthy you have to be to afford it even if you do have the time? Do you know how privileged you have to be to have a say in whether or not you must work during that time?” Then I wasstanding, my feet pacing back and forth, my eyes catching sight of him standing as well.
He didn’t understand. How could he?
How couldn’t he?That sounded an awful lot like Celeste echoing in my mind. And she was fucking right.
Abruptly I stilled, turning to face him, my face heating and my skin buzzing.
“How can you not see that the cards are stacked against eadi everywhere? It’s your kind and your horrid, disgusting values that determine whether so many eadi do or do not get magic! That choose whether eadi live or die! You!”
“Okay, hold on. I see what you mean about your parents. But your sister didn’t get magic for a reason.” His hands were lifted, but still he talked as if in battle. Twisting and warping his words to cut like blades. “Maybe that’s a sign that your parents wouldn’t have either.”
“No, youdon’tunderstand then. Once again, you have failed to see the point. Has it flown over your head, Talon? Should I fetch it for you like a good little eadi dog?”
“Don’t talk like that. You know I don’t think of you as any less than me.”
“It’s a startling advantage and, again, privilege to have the time to prove to the stars that you can be entertaining! To possess the energy and ability that you need to show you are deserving of magic!”
“You did it,” he stated, shrugging. “You proved that you are worthy.”
Stars if it did not enrage me further.
“I am them!” I screamed, losing every ounce of shame or fear. My hands flew to my chest, slamming into the place where my heart was. Where my family was. “They are me. I am a product of everything that they are and everything that they wanted me to become. If not them, then why me? If me, then why not them?”
