Page 139 of Rhymes with Metaphor
“You enjoyed it when Raelynne flirted with you.”
Joel shrugged.“I liked the attention.”
“Do you want to have sex with her?”
Joel considered.“I’m curious to know how it would feel.”
“Are you?”
“You’re not...jealous?”Joel looked at him, astonished.
“Maybe I am, a little,” said Reg with a smile.
“Haveyouever wondered what it’s like to have sex with a woman?”said Joel.
Reg laughed.
“What’s so funny?”said Joel.
“I’m gay, Joel.”
Joel took Reg’s hand, and they stood insulated from the world, their hands locked, the world silent and muffled in snow.
“If you want to be a proper actor,” said Reg, “you’re going to have to touch people the way Raelynne touched you, kiss them and such and let them touch you the same way.So, you probably will find out how it feels.”
“Acting isn’t real,” said Joel.“And just because I’m curious doesn’t mean I actually want to do it with a woman.I don’t want to do it with anyone but you.”
Reg’s squeezed Joel’s hand, knowing Joel was drunk and stoned and in no fit state for clear thinking.But he couldn’t pretend it didn’t feel good to hear.
“Reg?If I get into Juilliard, would you move to New York with me?We could rent a place together.”Joel looked at him.
“You should live in the residence halls, at least for your first year,” said Reg.“I don’t want to take that experience from you.You should meet people your own age, have a proper social life, engage in hijinks, do everything you didn’t do in your first year here because your sister made you live with her.”
“She didn’t make me,” said Joel.
“I’m not accusing her of frog-marching you into her house, but living with her wasn’t entirely your idea, was it?”
“The rent was cheaper,” said Joel, “and it’s cheaper cooking food for two people than buying it at the campus cafeteria, and—”
“She made a list, didn’t she?”
Joel blinked.“It was an Excel spreadsheet, actually.It was the best way to illustrate how much I’d be saving.”
“And that’s why you haven’t made a single close friend at university.Take it from someone who went to boarding school: The people you live with will become the friends you’re closest to long after I’m gone.You need to live your own life, make your own friends.”
“Ihavefriends,” said Joel.
“You were grandfathered into those friendships by me.”
“Then, what’s going to happen to us if I get into Juilliard?”said Joel.
“Nothing.”
“But I won’t see you.”
“I’ll come and visit.”
“I want to see you every day,” said Joel.“I want to keep living with you.”
