Page 144 of Rhymes with Metaphor
“You already have,” said Joel.“You alreadyare.You keep giving and giving and giving and you never ask for anything back.Even when you let me do things for you, you make it feel like you’re doing me a favour.I ask you to fuck me, but you won’t.And I know it’s not because you don’t do it, because you fucked Flip.So, what’s the reason, Reg?Don’t tell me you’re not ready unless you tell me why.”
“There’s nothing to tell, Joel.”
“Are we exclusive, Reg?”
“I haven’t fucked anyone else since we’ve been together, if that’s what you mean, and I’m not planning to.”
“Ever?”
“No, Joel.”
“Is that a promise?”said Joel.“Because I can make you the same one.I’ll do it now.”
“What?”said Reg, who felt he’d completely lost control of the situation.“You can’t mean...”
“Will you marry me?”said Joel.
“You’re too young to get married,” said Reg.
“I’m not too young to get engaged.”
“You’ve only ever been with one person in your life.You’re going to New York soon, and you’ll meet other people and develop feelings for them, the way you did with Raelynne.And Silas.”
“There’s a difference between being curious about something and actually doing it.I don’t want to have sex with Raelynne or Silas or anybody but you, and I don’t give a fuck if they want to have sex with me.”
“There’ll be other people in New York, and I don’t want you to feel guilty if you develop feelings for other people.”
“You’ve always taken me at my word that I know what I want.You’re willing to pay for me to go to Juilliard, for fuck’s sake.So, why won’t you believe that I want this?I know that being with you is what’s best for me.”
“I don’t want you to sacrifice your future happiness for my sake.”
Joel’s expression hardened.“I want to sleep in my own bed tonight.”
Reg felt like the floor had dropped from under him, and he didn’t know where he would land.“Joel...”
Joel went upstairs and brought his things down to his bedroom.“Goodnight, Reg.”He slid the door to the study shut behind him.
