Page 151 of Rhymes with Metaphor
I’m sorry for what I did to you.When you offered me everything, I couldn’t accept it, because I didn’t believe I deserved it.I didn’t give you credit for knowing what you wanted or myself for knowing what I needed.I know now that the worst thing I have ever done in my life was to hurt you.I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you were gone.Martin was my second choice.You are my first.Please come home, cariad.
I love you,
R.
He put the letter in an envelope and addressed it to the loft.He didn’t know where Joel was living now, but he knew Joel was organized and conscientious enough to have arranged for his mail to be forwarded.He could have addressed it to Juliet’s house, but he wanted this to be private, between him and Joel.He found a stamp in the drawer of his desk, affixed it to the envelope and went to look for a mailbox, heedless of the cold and the wind and the dark.And when he slipped the envelope through the slot, Reg felt a peace he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
Chapter 37: Joel
One mild, rainy dayat the end of March, nearly a year to the day Reg had first met Joel, Reg came home from a meeting with his agent, soaked and cold.He stripped off and went into the shower.When he came out of the bathroom, dried and dressed, he went to make coffee and found Joel sitting on the settee by the window, likewise soaked, hair plastered to his head.He looked so much like the Joel Reg had found at the fountain in the rain and taken home.He had been gone three months, but it felt longer, and Joel seemed older and more substantial, somehow.
“I let myself in,” said Joel.
“So I see.”Reg remained where he was, afraid that if he moved, he would wake from whatever dream this was, and Joel would be gone.
Joel fished something out of his pocket and set it on the coffee table.Reg couldn’t see it properly from where he was standing, so he walked over and looked.It was a black toonie.
“It’s the one you gave me in Wales,” said Joel.
“I thought you made a wish with it.”
“I already had my wish,” said Joel, “when you put it in my hand.I realized I loved you.I couldn’t throw it away after that.”
“So, that’s when it happened,” said Reg.“If I hadn’t gone back to get you in the rain that day...”
“I might have died of pneumonia.Why did you?”
“I don’t know,” said Reg.“I found you enormously inconvenient.I suppose I took pity on you.”
“You don’t now, do you?”
“No.”Reg sat on the settee beside Joel, but not close enough to touch him.He felt like he was walking a delicate balance.
Rain flowed down the window behind Joel like milk.
“It’s today,” said Joel.
