Page 2 of Rhymes with Metaphor
“You’re my most presentable friend...sometimes.And you’re the only one of my friends who I know won’t take a fancy to her.”
“There’s that.”Reg took a second drag on his cigarette.
“How’s the thesis coming along?”said Martin.
“Fuck off.”
“That well?”
Reg shot him a withering look.“You wouldn’t be so flippant ifyouhad writer’s block.”
“Is that what you’re calling it?”said Martin.“I thought it was common indolence.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Enlighten me.”
“It entails believing every piece of writing in the world, including my own, is shit.You see that writing over there?”
“Community Safety Zone.Fines Increased.”
“It’s shit.How did that get published?”
“It’s a street sign,” said Martin.
“It’sshit.”
“You could write a poem about that,” said Martin.“‘Shit’ by Reginald Fieldfare.First stanza: ‘Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit.’The meter’s perfect, and, as a bonus, it rhymes.And if the reviewers call it shit, you can have them for plagiarism.”
When Reg didn’t respond, Martin looked at him.“Cheer up, Reg.Spring’s here.The sun’s still up, the birds are singing—”
“The grass is yellow.The trees are bare.It’s bleak as shit.”
“Spreading the nihilism on a bit thick, aren’t you?”said Martin.
“What if I never write again?What if I peaked three years ago?”
“Poets don’t peak.They die.”
“Iamdead.Dead inside.Yet, here I am.What if ‘used to be a poet’ is my entire identity now?”
“Funnily enough,” said Martin, “I’ve never had writer’s block.It’s strange.I sit down to write, and the words just flow effortlessly out of me.”
“If our lifeboat were adrift in the Atlantic, I would eat you without compunction.”
“Steady on.I’m trying to identify the root of your problem.”
“Well, don’t.You’re my best friend.You’re supposed to listen to me moan, buy me a drink, and say, ‘There, there, Reg.You’ll come out of this funk a better writer.You’re a genius.A gift to the world of verse.’”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” said Martin.“I’ll give you a ‘There, there.’”
“Thanks, I suppose.”
“What doyouthink the problem is?”
“I need a muse,” said Reg, surprising himself.
“I’m not sure this party runs to muses.You’ll have to settle for drinks.”
