Page 22 of Rhymes with Metaphor
“If you’ve been in Canada since you were ten, how do you still have British accents?You should have lost them if you came to Canada before you were twelve.”
“We don’t have accents,” said Reg.“We speak correctly.”
“We didn’t want to leave England behind,” said Martin.“It wasn’t our choice to come here.And we go back to England in the summers and stay at Reg’s dad’s place, and when we were in Canada, Reg and I used to watch Britcoms on PBS, and we’d imitate the actors’ accents.It was our way of holding onto home.I draw the line at yoghurt, though.Reg pronounces it ‘yoggert,’ which is a bit much, in my opinion.”
“One has to draw the line somewhere,” said Reg.“Martin draws his at Yoplait.”
“So,” said Juliet, “it’s not so much an accent as an affectation.”
“I beg your pardon?”said Reg.
“Case in point,” said Juliet.
“How long can you stay?”said Martin.
“A week,” said Juliet.“Joel should be starting his medical records job now, but we had to postpone the start date.Joel’s doctor said that the worst thing he could do right now is to push himself before he’s fully recovered.He has this tendency to burn the candle at both ends.Six courses and the MCAT in one semester.I told him it was too much, but he wouldn’t listen.”Juliet pushed Joel’s shoulder gently.“Would you?”
Joel didn’t respond.He barely looked awake, and he hadn’t touched his food.
Joel took a sip from his glass and grimaced.
“Throat still sore?”said Juliet.
Joel nodded.
“How bad is it?”said Juliet.“Is that why you’re not eating?”
“Not hungry.”His voice sounded terribly hoarse.
“If you don’t eat, you won’t get better,” said Juliet.
“Sorry about that,” said Martin to Juliet.“Dinner was rough and ready.Tomorrow, I’ll take you out to the nice restaurant in town.”
“Whenever you got sick when you were little,” said Juliet, “I’d read you bedtime stories, and the only thing you’d eat was Combos, and the only thing you’d drink was root beer.And it had to be A&W Root Beer or nothing.”
“Why don’t we go to the convenience store now and get him some, Juliet?”said Martin.
“He shouldn’t be left alone when he’s this sick,” said Juliet.
“Reg can stay and keep him company,” said Martin.“Read him a bedtime story.”
Juliet refused to leave until she had swathed Joel in a veritable cocoon of multicoloured quilts.While she was doing that, Reg pulled Martin aside.
“What in theMary Poppinsfuck, Martin?A bedtime story?”
“I’ve got a copy ofThe Wind in the Willowsin my bedroom,” said Martin.
“You want me to mollycoddle New Bug,” said Reg.“While you canoodle with his sister?”
“Could you, Reg?”said Martin.“I’d appreciate it awfully.I haven’t had a chance to be alone with her since Joel got sick.”
“We’ve only been here five minutes,” said Reg.
“And we’ll only be gone ten,” said Martin.“See you later.”
Reg went back to the porch and stood in the doorway.He considered going to his room and working, but guilt stopped him.That, and the way Joel lay there helplessly, like a caterpillar waiting to be trodden on.
Reg smoked a cigarette outside, keeping an eye on Joel through the screened window.The spring peepers were kicking up a righteous racket in observance to the mating season.And apparently, Juliet and Martin were extending their absence for a similar reason.
