Page 64 of The Virtuoso
“I have that pleasure.” Val smiled slightly, while Mr. Crannock produced a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles and fitted them over his ears—which were not pointed but perhaps should have been.
“What might I do for you, Mr. Windham?” Mr. Crannock peered at his customer, looking like a turtle in bright sunshine. His neck was a leathery brisket, but his clothes were immaculate, if twenty years behind fashion.
“I’m looking for a particular tea,” Val said, glancing around the shop.
“Teas and tisanes are right here.” Mr. Crannock bustled across the room. “We’ve dozens of teas, and I can mix them for you in any proportion. The mints are very popular now, as is the chamomile, particularly with the ladies.”
“And willow bark tea? Do you have a quantity of that?”
“Oh, aye.” Mr. Crannock began peering at his glass jars. “When the fevers come in summer, everybody needs their willow bark tea. Bitter stuff, though it does the job.”
“If you mixed the willow bark with this stuff”—Val lifted the lid of a jar at random and took a sniff—“would the willow bark still be effective?”
“Why, yes.” Mr. Crannock looked pleased with his customer. “It would provided you let it steep. And that pennyroyal will soothe a bilious stomach.”
“This is pennyroyal?” Val took another sniff. “It’s rather like spearmint, isn’t it?”
Mr. Crannock nodded. “Aye, ’tis, but we have the spearmint itself, and peppermint and catmint, as well. Shall I blend some for you?”
“Why don’t I take some of each,” Val suggested. “The willow bark and the pennyroyal, and some of this…” He sniffed the jar labeled peppermint. “And some chamomile.”
“We’ve lemon verbena sachets, as well,” Mr. Crannock offered. “I expect you can procure those from Mrs. Fitz, since she provides the sachets to me.”
“What else does she sell to you?” Val asked, still ambling around, sniffing a jar here and a sachet there.
“Only sachets and soaps,” Mr. Crannock said, weighing out Val’s purchases. “I’ve asked her to grow me some herbs or grind me up some simples and tisanes. She won’t do it. Says it’s too easy to make an error.”
“Is there really so much danger of making an error?”
“Oh, my.” Mr. Crannock’s expression was horror-stricken. “You can kill a man with the wrong potion, Mr. Windham. The digitalis aids the heart, but too much, and the patient expires. Arsenic is just as dangerous. And if you don’t know your plants—the belladonna and nightshade, the mushrooms and toadstools—you can do the same again, and it’s not a pleasant way to go.”
“So you’re sure you’ve sold me only harmless teas?” Val teased good-naturedly.
“Don’t leave the pennyroyal around the womenfolk unless they understand what it is,” Mr. Crannock said. “It can solve certain female problems but cause others.”
Val put his coin on the counter and picked up his purchases. “As I do not suffer female problems, I will not inquire further. Good day to you, and my thanks.”
Mr. Crannock beamed. “Good day. My regards to Mrs. Fitz, if you see her.”
Val left, wondering if that last happy aside was intended as a fishing expedition, a polite nothing, or a reflection of local speculation regarding Val’s dealings with Ellen. People, His Grace, the Duke of Moreland, always said, were going to do at least two things with unfailing regularity, and one of those things was talk. Val had been nine before St. Just had taken pity on him and explained what the second activity was, though the disclosure had seemed nonsense to a boy enthralled with his piano and his pony.
Val repaired to the livery, finding Zeke tacked up and sporting a small keg trussed behind the saddle. When Val was in the saddle, the groom handed him a covered pie plate, a burden which required that Zeke be kept to a moderate pace.
As Val made his way back to the estate, he found himself considering what the Duke of Moreland might say about Ellen Markham. Much to Val’s surprise, the duke had welcomed Anna James into the family on Westhaven’s arm, without a peep of protest or bluster.
And what in the bloody, blazing, stinkinghell, Val wondered as he approached his own lane, was he doing considering Ellen Markham as a marriage prospect? The improvement in his hand was encouraging, yes, but he’d known the woman only a few weeks, and she’d shown no inclination to seek a more permanent union. He’d swived her once—thoroughly and gloriously, true, but only the once. They were a long and difficult way from considering each other as potential spouses.
Which nonetheless didn’t put the notion out of his head entirely. He was still pondering possibilities when St. Just met him in the stable yard.
“If we cut this now,” St. Just said, taking the pie from Val before Zeke was even halted, “we can destroy all the evidence before the infidels come back from the home farm. Sir Dewey and Darius are making an inspection of the pond and can help us dispose of the evidence. Ale goes with pie. Put up your pony, Valentine, and we’ll save you a little slice.”
“I will tattle to Her Grace,” Val said, swinging down. “I traveled six miles in a sweltering heat, paid good coin, and carried that pie back with my own two hands.”
“Traveling uphill both ways,” St. Just added solemnly, “with a scalding headwind. Last one to the pond is a virgin with a little pizzle.”
“Pizzle,” Val muttered, loosening his horse’s girth. “I forgot pizzle. That makes thirteen.”
“You’re daft, Valentine. A man doesn’t forget his pizzle.” St. Just spun on his heel and headed for the trail to the pond.
