Page 69 of How to Ruin a Duke
The duchess dipped her quill.“And yet you long to perish of malaria in the jungles of India.How like a male to bring not a jot of logic to his own situation.Emory could likely get you a position in France or Belgium.Possibly Italy.Even the Germans have excellent wine, if that’s the criteria by which you evaluate an opportunity.”
She was in a mood, as only Mama could be in a mood.“Why hasn’t Emory hired you a new companion?It’s been what, three months, since Lady Edith quit the field?”
Now Mama looked up, her gaze suggesting Jeremiah had told a ribald joke at a formal dinner party, a transgression he hadn’t committed for three dreary, well-behaved years.
“Her ladyship left this household six months ago, sir.She refused to remain even when I offered to increase her salary by half.Perhaps you know why that might be?”
“Haven’t a clue.Women are fickle.Witness, nobody was willing to marry the old dear, were they?”He’d stretched the facts a bit with that remark.Lady Edith wasn’t old, wasn’t even close to old, more’s the pity.
“And nobody is clamoring to marry you either, my boy.They aren’t even clamoring to marry your brother these days, and that is a problem I had not foreseen.”
The afternoon was taking a tedious turn.“Angels defend us, when a duke has to work at winning a woman’s favor.He should be able to simply wave his…hand, and line up potential duchesses for parade inspection, is that it?A title acquits a man of all faults, from lack of humor to lack of humility and everything in between.Emory doesn’t even trouble over his wardrobe overmuch, and yet, you claim he’s to have any duchess he pleases at the snap of his fingers.”
Mama went back to her writing.“Jealousy is such an unbecoming trait in a man who wants for nothing and never has.”
“Spite is no more attractive in a woman who has everything she desires and more.And as for my wants, what would you know of them?You are too busy summoning your coven to choose the next hapless bachelor and giggling demoiselle to consign to wedlock.I want more than dancing slippers and good wine for my lot, Mama.A man can make his fortune in India, he can escape the thankless tedium of perpetual heir-dom.He can live his own life.”
“I have given birth to two idiots, though you, as the better looking and more charming of the two give me the greater sorrow.Marry an heiress if you don’t care for heir-dom.Stop whining about India, where you can be felled by fever within a week of strutting off the boat.Emory will stand firm against buying you your colors until his own nursery is in hand.If you haven’t the patience to serve out that sentence, then do something productive.”
Perhaps only an idiot could give birth to idiots.Jeremiah ought not to hold such sentiments toward his only surviving parent, but Mama ought not to be such a shrew.
“I am now responsible for serving in Emory’s stead on no less than four charitable boards.”
“And you find,” Mama said, setting aside her letter, “that what you thought would be great fun—impersonating the duke—is so much tedium.Why do you think I did not offer to serve in his stead?”
Mama was at her most vexing, which was very vexatious indeed, when she was right.“You declined the honor of supporting charitable causes because you’re too busy running the realm from your lap desk.”
She also hadn’t a companion to drag along with her to the meetings, and doubtless, Lady Edith had done any real work associated with those gatherings.A twinge of guilt had Jeremiah on his feet.
“Off to mind the press of business?”Mama asked.“Or the press of Mrs.Bellassai’s person to your own?”
“For your information,” Jeremiah said, making a decorous progress toward the door, “I haven’t frequented her establishment for some weeks.My family is already battling enough scandal that I needn’t stir that pot.”Besides, the lady had made it plain he wasn’t welcome, of all the nerve.
Mama took out another sheet of paper.“Jeremiah, I despair of you.I truly do.It’s a wonder you weren’t the subject of some scandalous book:How to Waste Good Tailoring and a Generous Allowance.Find a decent woman with adequate settlements who’ll have you, and perhaps Emory will follow your example.Lord knows you seem unable to follow his.”
India was not far enough away from such maternal devotion.The Antipodes were not far enough away.
“Would you have me follow him onto the pages of the tattlers, Mama?Though I do believe his reputation is improved by the mischief recounted in that book.”
“You think so because, as noted, you haven’t an ounce of sense.That book went too far, Jeremiah, and I’m learning that many of the incidents recounted weren’t half so madcap as they’ve been portrayed.”
This appeared to worry the duchess.Well, good.Without a companion to vent her spleen upon, Her Grace was clearly in need of something to occupy her.Fretting over Emory would serve nicely.
“I’m going out,” Jeremiah said.“Maybe I’ll run into an heiress who has a use for a man who’s charming, witty, intelligent, handsome, kind to children and animals, and,”—he opened the door—“patient with the elderly.”
He closed the door just as a soft thud sounded against the other side, proving he was not a useless cipher after all.If Mama was back to throwing her slippers—a behavior she’d eschewed under Lady Edith’s watch—then Jeremiah had at least cheered up his mother.
Though if she were to hire another pretty, soft-spoken, endlessly agreeable companion, that would cheer Jeremiah up a bit too.
Edith’s afternoonhad taken on the quality of a fairytale.She beheld an entirely naked, very well made lover in a frankly aroused state, and that lover was climbing into bed with her.While the part of her brought up to be a pattern card of feminine decorum admitted to a touch of consternation—His Grace of Emory could rebuke the sovereign with little more than a raised eyebrow—the rest of Edith rejoiced.
Poverty was lonely and uncomfortable.A lady fallen on hard times became invisible to those who could help her, and all too obvious to those who’d mock her.Thaddeus offered a respite, a place and time set apart from life’s frustrations, and he offered her the pleasure of his intimate company.
“Come here,” he said, settling on his back and raising an arm.“We must deal with the bow and curtsey.”
Edith snuggled against his side.“I beg your pardon?”
“The part where I admit I don’t know everything about pleasing a lady, though I have, through diligent study, learned that if a woman is asked, she will often tell me when I’m on the right path—and when I’m not.In the latter event, or even in the former, please don’t wait to be asked.”
