Page 75 of How to Ruin a Duke
“You’ve been trying to discover the author?”
A basilisk stare greeted the inquiry.“No, Thaddeus.I’ve been trying on bonnets all day while rumors abound that a sequel is to be published.When I tire of admiring my reflection, I ring for confits and tea to restore my strength.Self-absorption can be so taxing, don’t you think?You would know, after all.”
“I thought perhaps you wroteHow to Ruin a Duke.”She had the self-discipline, the free time, and the acerbic wit.
She set her book aside again.“You think that I…?I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.The person whoshouldhave written that book is your late father.He meant well, but his notions of how to bring up his son and heir were sadly lacking.Do you know, I wish at least some of the incidents in that blasted book were true.”
“They were all true, up to a point, and then the author took liberties with the facts.”
“Doom to any who take liberties with the facts, of course, which suggests the author knew you well enough to know how intolerable you find even everyday falsehoods.Whom do you suspect, Thaddeus?”
She almost never used his given name, but then, they almost never talked.They chatted, they quarreled, they exchanged a few comments over breakfast, and yet clearly, Mama was—in her way—an ally.
Good to know.
“I suspect everybody and nobody in particular, but I have wondered if Lady Edith Charbonneau would have a reason to wish me ill.”
Mama drew her feet up and wrapped her arms about her knees.“Lady Edith?I cannot think her capable of such malice.She is a truly kind woman.I should know for I tried her patience to the utmost.If she were to write a book excoriating any member of this family, she would go after Jeremiah.”
To Thaddeus’s consternation, Mama was in complete earnest.“Jeremiah?He’s the only member of the family to claim a surfeit of charm.”Thaddeus tried to dredge up any mentions made of Jeremiah in his discussions with Lady Edith, and… nothing of any substance came to mind.They’d talked of Mama, Antigone, Cousin Anstruther, but—significantly—not about Jeremiah except in passing.
“Jeremiah exerts himself to be charming when he wants something, Emory.Have you ever noticed that he offers to take me driving toward the end of the fortnight even when it’s not his turn?He uses the public outing to press me for advances on his allowance.He knows I will not quarrel with him in the middle of the carriage parade, just as I know he will never pay me back.”
Thaddeus got up to pace.“He could not have borrowed money from Lady Edith.She hasn’t any, and her wages weren’t that generous.”Though if Jeremiah had borrowed money from her and not paid the loan back, would that justify a grudge serious enough to result in a slanderous book?
Mama watched him, her expression putting Thaddeus in mind of a cat about to swipe a paw across the nose of an annoying kitten.“Do you truly believe I have employed three different companions in the past five years because my sour nature alone defeats them?”
Thaddeus had thought that very thing.“Lady Edith, at least, left without having another post to go to.Something or somebody made the situation here intolerable, and thus I’ve speculated that she has a motive to write a nasty book.”
Mama swung her legs over the side of the chaise and slipped her feet into a pair of embroidered house mules.“I wasn’t aware that Lady Edith hadn’t located another post.”
“Not as of last week.She’s attempting to make a living writing domestic advice, but I gather she hasn’t found a publisher yet.”
Mama stared at her slippers.“I have wondered whether you were aware of the problem Jeremiah poses.I am finally ready to let you send him to India, Emory.He should have known better than to bother Edith.She is a true lady, and if she’d condemned him publicly, she would have been believed.”
Thaddeus felt again the queasy, disoriented dread he’d experienced in Lady Edith’s parlor.“You are saying that Jeremiah—my brother—bothered a woman in the family’s employ?He pressed his attentions upon her ladyship uninvited?”
“He’s not you, Thaddeus, to observe all the courtesies and protocols.I fear the boy takes after me rather too much.”
“You would never inveigle a footman into improprieties, Mama.You are sure Jeremiah forgot himself with Lady Edith?”Thaddeus wanted this flight to be one of Mama’s attempts at humor, a mistake, anything but the truth.And yet… the facts, the damnable, inescapable facts, supported Mama’s conclusion.
“Edith left to avoid Jeremiah’s advances.”Mama rose.“She did not come right out and say that.She hinted, I ignored her hints.The previous two companions had come to me with similar tales.I thought one or two women misconstruing Jeremiah’s friendliness was possible, but when Edith… She didn’t want more money, she didn’t want to become the object of unkind talk, she didn’t want anything but the wages due her and a decent character.I gave her both.”
“Three women, Mama?He’s behaved abominably withthreewomen and I’m only learning of it now?Are the maids safe?”
“The housekeeper knows to assign them in pairs.They are safe.It’s as if Jeremiah is jealous of my companions because I have a playmate and he does not.He also thought strutting around in your shoes with those damned charities would be a great lark, but he’s learned otherwise.No organization is more inefficient or pompous than an eleemosynary guild devoted to flowers, unless it’s the Charitable Committee for the—”
Thaddeus held up a hand.“Please do not attempt to change the subject.I can barely credit that my brother has betrayed the one ironclad rule of gentlemanly deportment and imposed his attentions on women drawing wages under this very roof.”
Mama set her book on the mantel.“He’s a spoiled brat, Emory.I know because I am too.You have escaped our fate, which makes me wroth that you have been the butt of that awful book.You have given no one cause to treat you thus—and certainly Lady Edith would not have done so—but then, London is full of spoiled brats, isn’t it?”
Thaddeus was torn between the compulsion to find Lady Edith and apologize to her on bended knee—on his damned hands and knees if necessary—and the urgent need to beat Jeremiah senseless.
“You’re truly willing to let me buy Jeremiah a commission?”Thaddeus asked.
“I had hoped to keep him safe, but when it comes down to it, my companions aren’t safe when he’s underfoot.He runs with a naughty crowd, his gambling debts have to be considerable, and he’s not maturing as he should.”
Jeremiah had gambling debts—substantial gambling debts—and proceeds from the sales of a popular book would help pay them off.
