Page 119 of The Captive
They reached the stable yard, and Christian signaled the grooms that he was ready for his curricle.
“I meant what I said at the house.” He slipped his arms around her waist. “Please take extra care with Lucy while I’m gone. She will fret and worry and need your common sense and cheerful company.”
“She’ll have it.”
“And I need to know you won’t decamp in my absence.”
His arm tightened fractionally, or Gilly would have withdrawn at least far enough to see his face. In profile, he looked more stern than usual, which only increased Gilly’s sense of anxiety.
“You think I’d leave Lucy alone when she was so adamant she did not want Marcus here?”
“She was adamant I not go away,” Christian said, peering at her.
“She was happy to discuss your trip with you in her fashion until you mentioned that Cousin Marcus would be coming to stay in your absence. Thenandonlythendid she become cross…and disconsolate. This morning she was withdrawn again, barely acknowledging our visit.”
“Helene was prone to the same moodiness,” he said, stepping away and tugging on his driving gloves. “Lucy will be gamboling with her puppies before I’m gone an hour. Now, this has been an enlightening digression, Countess, but I asked for specific reassurances from you, and I’ve yet to hear them.”
He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Promise me you won’t leave in my absence. I want to hear the words, Gilly, and you will look me in the eye when you say them.”
If Christian was this worried that she’d leave him, he must be up to something very bad, indeed. “Damn you, sir. I was waiting for your next proposal.”
He smiled a crooked, sad, and slightly smug smile. “I’m waiting for your promise.”
“I will not depart in your absence unless for some dire emergency, and then I will leave my direction with Harris and Nanny.”
“A fit of pique is not a dire emergency. Can we agree on that?”
“We can, else you’ll stand here the livelong day badgering me.”
She wanted to pick yet another fight, and he wasleavingat a time when only something dire ought to take him away. She stepped closer, putting her arms around him for all the stableboys to see—again.
“You will propose again, won’t you?” she asked now that the moment of parting was upon them. “You needn’t repeat the bended knee part. When whatever is haunting you that requires you to charge off to London is put to rest, I would like to hear another proposal very much.”
His arms closed around her, and his chin came to rest on her crown.
“This little business will pass, Gilly, while my feelings for you are constant. You are testing us both and grieving in your fashion and wondering what will become of you now that your enemy is in the ground. The generals always had the worst time controlling their troops when a siege broke and the city had fallen. That’s when the real mayhem ensued, and you and I are no different.”
“I’m not some pillaging infantryman to express my frustrations with gun and bayonet.” Of that, she was certain.
“You know a great deal about being besieged, though.”
He spoke gently and too quietly for anyone else to hear. The words were easy to understand on the surface, but the sense of them went much deeper. She took a breath and let herself feel his arms around her, let her cheek rest against his muscled chest.
“I’m about to cry.”
“I know of nobody who has greater justification for tears.”
She heard the curricle being brought around, and the sound of the wheels rattling against the cobbles struck at her. Christian was truly leaving, and now,now, she clung to him.
“I want to be angry with you. Angry enough to push away from you.”
Still, he didn’t turn her loose. “You have every reason to be angry, love.”
“But not with you.”
“And I have no excuse for being wroth with every cat I see, but if I find one in my house, I will still be tempted to toss it out the nearest window. That is a small price to pay for walking in the sunshine and being free to love you.”
“Don’t.” She pressed her fingers to his lips and felt his mouth curve in a smile.
