Page 58 of Benga's Rise
Juanita looks at me with the ends of her braids falling behind her. I wonder how long her hair is when its straightened. I shrug. “He means anything. He’s pretty literal. All the Brothers are.”
She smiles. “I’m glad you’re right here then.”
“It seems Leo has also had an epiphany this week. He is much more settled in his place here and with his Brothers watching out for him. I’d like to say this is all my brilliant work, but you’d know it’s bullshit, so I’m going to say thanks, Raid.”
She waits until we stop laughing. “I’ll be here tomorrow, but if you both keep going the way you are, I’ll step back to weekly sessions.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“If day’s work better, you can come to the office.” Raid offers.
“I’d like that. Most therapists sit in an office, but I like to see people in their own environment. I’ll bring the schedule tomorrow. Nice meeting you, Raid. Lorelei, you’re doing great. Keep doing that.”
I laugh. “I plan to. Thanks, Juanita.” While Raid walks her out, I sit here smiling. I’m doing great. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I’m doing great, but I do today. I will tomorrow too.
~*~
Raid
I love to see that smile. “Powerful feeling, isn’t it?” I surprised her, making her jump.
“It is. I don’t understand why it would be, but I like it, so I’m going to stay right here feeling it.”
I laugh. “I’ll get Leo to bed. Come in when you’re done taking in the power.”
She gives me time with him so I know she won’t be right in. I’m so fucking relieved,Ifeel powerful. Leo is looking at his stars when I walk in.
“Bedtime, Little Brother.”
He smiles my way. “I’m glad you’re here, Raid. I don’t have nothing to tell you, but Juanita says I should say what makes me happy, like my mom does. So, I’m glad you’re here.” He’s cute.
“I’m glad you’re here too. I like seeing you happy.” I pull the comforter down and pat the bed.
“Why?” He asks, climbing in. I smell toothpaste glad he remembered because I didn’t.
“Why what?”
“Why do you like seeing me happy? No one...”
I jump in to stop that. “Let's let all the old go and stick with the new. You’re happy with the new, right?” With his nod, I go on. “From right now, we’ll live here in new and exciting and happy. I like seeing you happy, Leo. I don’t need a reason, but I’ll tell you how it feels to me. The first time you smiled was on that street corner and it made me smile. You knew we weren’t going to hurt you. Knowing that as big as I am doesn’t spark fear, but gave you comfort, is a good feeling. It makes me happy that kids aren’t afraid of me because I’m bigger than them. All the things I’ve seen you do, laughing with the twins, hugging your mom, paying attention when I talk, all those are new to me too. I didn’t know you. Now that I do, every time I get to see you happy, it makes me happy. I like that feeling, so I do things to show it or I tell you.”
He takes a second and nods. “I’m gonna be like you, Raid. I like that feeling too. I’m going to show and tell people so they know. Then they can be happy like us.”
“I’m so proud of you, Leo. You’re learning fast. That makes me happy too.”
Lorelei wheels in and Leo is up and hugging her. “Love you, Ma.”
He climbs back in and hugs me. “You too, Raid. That feels good too.”
Jesus. “To me too. Love you, Little Brother.” I kiss his head and smile. Lorelei has tears rolling down her face. I push her out and she doesn’t give me shit about it.
In the sitting room, I move her to the couch, putting her foot on the table and get a box of tissues. When I sit, I blow out a breath.
She laughs. “A very enlightening, emotional day.”
“Yeah. This is new for me, so some things are a surprise I’m not prepared for.”
I like the smile as she’s wiping her eyes. “With kids, you’re never prepared.”
